The voyage was a rough one, and he saw her only now and then, always
alone, and generally standing on the end of the ship, her green cape
blowing in a gale of wind and showing a scarlet lining, her mignonette
hat exchanged for a soft green thing with an upstanding scarlet quill.
She was the only companionable person on board, but he did not know
her and sat nowhere near her at table, an assemblage of facts that
seemed to settle the matter, considering the sort of man he was and
the sort of girl she was.
"She's too pretty and too young to be gallivanting about 'on her
own,'" he said to himself one morning, when Tommy stood on the upper
deck looking out to sea and, as far as he could judge, singing, though
there was such a gale blowing that he could not hear her voice. "But
all the girls are the same nowadays,"--and he puffed his pipe
disconsolately; "all the same; brisk, self-supporting, good fellows.
If I ever met a nice, unsuccessful-but-not-depressed sort of girl,
soft but not silly, mild but not tame, flexible but not docile,
spirited but not domineering, I think I should capitulate; but they're
all dead. The type has changed, and I haven't changed with it."
* * * * *
Fergus Appleton did not make acquaintances easily; no man does who has
had a lonely, neglected boyhood, his only companion a father who
seldom remembered his existence, and, when he did, apparently
regretted it. He had known girls, but he was a shy, silent, ugly boy,
and appealed as little to them as they to him. He did not live through
the twenties without discovering that a fine crop of sentiment was
growing in his heart; he also discovered that he didn't know in the
least what to do with it. George Meredith, speaking of Romance, says:
"The young who avoid that region escape the title of Fool at the cost
of a Celestial crown." Fergus Appleton wouldn't have minded being
called a fool if only he could have contrived to deserve the title,
and the glimmer of the crown celestial had been in his imagination
more than once until he turned thirty and decided it was not for his
head. Guileless school-girls did not appeal to him, and elderly sirens
certainly had no power to charm; he was even widow-proof, so he became
a thoroughfare for sisterly affection. Girls suffocated him with
friendliness, which was not the stuff of which his dreams were made.
However, he had nothing to complain of, for he got as good as he gave,
and it occurred to him that he could not expect to start a disastrous
conflagration in any maiden bosom so long as he had no brimstone, nor
any substitute for it, on his own premises.
"Anyway," he reflected (though perhaps not oftener than once a year),
"if I haven't a tie in the world, I have complete freedom to do as I
like!" And if the said freedom palled upon him occasionally, nobody
was the wiser, for Fergus Appleton did not wear his heart on his
sleeve.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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