Love stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
When he fled away from London he found something of the same changes
elsewhere. In the stir of war, and even in the long weariness of
waiting which followed it, the whirling along of the great world was,
if not forgotten, unthought of. The daily work and the daily interest
were so personal and so absorbing that abstract thinking was not.
In the country, of course, the changes were less, but they were more
marked. The few years had their full tally of loss; of death, and
decay. The eyes that saw them were so far fresh eyes, that unchecked
memory had not a perpetual ease of comparison.
For a while he tried hard to find a fresh interest in his work. But
here again was change with which he could feel neither sympathy nor
toleration. Great schemes of reform were on foot; schemes of
organization, of recruiting, of training. The ranks in the Service, of
which he had experience, were becoming more mechanical than ever. Had
he by this time acquired higher rank in the army it is possible that
he would have entered with ardour into the new conditions. He was
fitted for such; young, and energetic, and daring. Those in the
Cabinet or in the Army Council have material for exercising broader
views of the machinery of war, and to the eyes of such many things
which looked at in detail seem wrong or foolish stand out in their
true national importance.
His dissatisfaction with the army changes was the last straw. He took
it into his head that in future the army had no place for him. The
idea multiplied day by day with an ever-increasing exasperation. At
last his mind was definitely made up. He sent in his papers; and in
due time retired.
It is generally the way with human beings that they expect some
radical change in themselves and their surroundings to follow close on
some voluntary act. They cannot understand, at once at all events,
that the “eternal verities” are eternal. “I may die but the grass will
grow” says Tennyson in one of his songs. And this is the whole story
in epitome. After all, what is one life, howsoever perfect or noble it
may be, in the great moving world of fact. The great Globe floats in a
sea of logic which encompasses it about everywhere. What is ordained
is ordained to an end, and no puny hopes or fears or wishes of an
individual can sway or change its course. Conclusions follow premises,
results follow causes. We rebel against facts and conditions because
they are facts and conditions. Then for some new whim or purpose
entirely our own we take a new step--forward or backward it matters
not--and lo! we expect the whole world with its million years of slow
working up to that particular moment to change too.
This belief that things _must_ change in accordance with our desires
has its base deep down in our nature. At the lowest depth it is
founded on Vanity. We are so important to ourselves that we cannot but
think that that importance is sustained through all creation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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