At half-past twelve the town stirred in its sleep and partially awoke.
Paddy Doolan, who drove the mail cart, arrived from Derrymore. Dr.
Farelly strolled down to the post office, seeking, but scarcely hoping
for, a letter in reply to his advertisements. He was surprised and very
greatly pleased when the postmistress handed him a large envelope, fat
and bulging, bearing a Manchester postmark. The moment he opened it Dr.
Farelly knew that he had got what he wanted, an application for the
post he had to offer. He took out, one after another, six sheets of
nicely-printed matter. These were testimonials signed by professors,
tutors, surgeons, and doctors, all eloquent about the knowledge, skill,
and personal integrity of one Theophilus Lovaway. Dr. Farelly stuffed
these into his pocket. He had often written testimonials himself--in
Ireland everyone writes them in scores--and he knew precisely what they
were worth. He came at last to a letter, very neatly typewritten. It
began formally:
“Dear Sir--I beg to offer myself as a candidate for the post of medical
officer, temporary, for the town and district of Dunailin, on the terms
of your advertisement in _The British Medical Journal_.”
Dr. Farelly, like the Etruscans in Macaulay’s poem, “could scare forbear
to cheer.” He walked jauntily back to his house, relit his pipe and sat
down to read the rest of the letter.
Theophilus Lovaway was apparently a garrulous person. He had covered
four sheets with close typescript. He began by stating that he was
only just qualified and had never practised anywhere. He hoped that Dr.
Farelly would not consider his want of experience a disqualification.
Dr. Farelly did not care in the least.
If Theophilus Lovaway was legally qualified to write prescriptions,
nothing else mattered. The next three paragraphs of the letter--and they
were all long--described, in detail, the condition of Lovaway’s health.
He suffered, it appeared, from a disordered heart, weak lungs, and
dyspepsia. But for these misfortunes, the letter went on, Theophilus
would have devoted himself to the services of his country in her great
need. Dr. Farelly sniffed. He had a prejudice against people who wrote
or talked in that way. He began to feel less cheerful. Theophilus might
come to Dunailin. It was very doubtful whether he would stay there long,
his lungs, heart, and stomach being what they were.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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