Cassandra turned her head and looked up and down the diverging paths.
Women everywhere, crowds of women, old and young, and heavily
middle-aged, talking, smiling, bearing themselves with complacent airs.
It was a ghastly, a hideous thought that they were all suffering some
inner smart! She had believed that she was an exception, but according
to Mrs Evans it was not the sufferer who was the exception, but the
child of the sunshine, who, like fortunate Grizel, was endowed with the
gift of happiness.
"All of them?" cried Cassandra sharply. "Oh, not all! They look so
calm and comfortable. I couldn't bear to think that under the mask they
were all suffering!"
"They are not, my dear; they are forgetting! That's the lesson so many
of us have to learn,--to forget the unattainable, and make the best of
what remains. And every innocent distraction that comes along, like
this party to-day, to see your beautiful flowers, helps a step along the
road."
"Suppose," said Cassandra slowly, "one did not wish to forget?"
The Vicar's wife shook her head.
"One rarely does. It is easier to cling hold. But it's possible to ask
oneself a straight question... Which is going to make life easier for
myself, and the people around me,--to cling hold, or,--to let go? It
saps one's vitality to grieve over the unattainable, and in most lives
there _is_ an unattainable. There are not many women so fortunate as
you, Cassandra!"
Mrs Evans spoke in good faith. She had a sincere liking for the
Squire, who as a patron was not only generous, but delightfully free
from the dreaded vice of interference. When consulted on church
matters, he would shrug his shoulders, and declare that it was all one
to him. So long as the music was passable, and the sermons kept within
a ten minutes' limit, he could be relied upon to give liberally, and to
make no complaints. Truly a patron in a hundred! Such a man could not
fail to be a kind husband. Moreover, the touch of snobbishness in Mrs
Evans's nature invested Cassandra's position in the county with a most
satisfying importance, while the presence of the needful heir made the
picture complete. Youth, beauty, wealth, a fine position, a kindly
husband, a strong young son,--what more could a woman desire? "But you
must be careful not to take cold!" she added remindfully.
Cassandra gave a short, mirthless laugh, but before she had time to
speak her husband and Grizel turned the corner of the path, and Bernard,
with his usual lack of ceremony, beckoned to her to approach. He looked
flushed and worried, and with a word of apology to Mrs Evans, Cassandra
hurried to meet him.
"Here you are at last! Been searching all over. Trust you to hide
yourself out of sight. Look here! I want you at the house. There's
been an accident. Peignton--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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