There was no answer to be made to that protest. Dane stared at the
ground, miserably conscious of the hopelessness of the situation. He
was determined to keep to his resolution that it should be all or
nothing between Cassandra and himself, yet the prospect of parting was
intolerable.
"Are you thinking entirely of the boy?" he asked slowly, after a pause.
"Your husband? Doesn't he enter into your calculations?"
Cassandra's face hardened.
"No," she said coldly. "I am not thinking of Bernard. If there were
only Bernard to consider, it would be different. Bernard has not kept
his promise to love and cherish me all his life. I am a live woman, and
he treats me like a machine. A man like that has no right to a wife.
If I left him, it would open his eyes to his own selfishness, and do him
good. He would marry again, and his second wife would reap the benefit.
You need me more than Bernard needs me, and I need you... But there's
the boy--"
"And," said Peignton heavily, "Teresa!"
Cassandra glanced at him swiftly, and into her eyes came fear.
"Dane... will you, can you,--marry her _new_?"
"I have told her that it's impossible, but she insisted on keeping on
the engagement. I stood out, but she said that possibly your name might
be dragged in if the engagement were broken off just now, after our
visit to you.--I could not stand the risk of that, so--it was left!"
"And you are engaged to her still?"
"Nominally. Yes. She is very considerate. She makes it as easy for me
as she can... That's a hateful thing to say! I hate myself for saying
it. If it's hard for us, it's harder for her. She's the one left out.
She might have made things unbearable. Can you imagine what it would
have been if she had blurted out the whole tale,--told it to her own
people, to have it handed round the neighbourhood, with a hundred
exaggerations within twenty-four hours? A girl might so easily have
lost her head under the circumstances, but she--I don't think she
reproached me once! She seemed all the way through to think of me more
than herself.--I never saw her more sweet!"
A vision of Teresa had come into his mind as with flushing cheeks she
had said, "There might be children!" Many times over had he recalled
that moment, and always with the same tenderness and pain. Cassandra
recognised the note in his voice, and felt a very human pang of
jealousy.
"What did she say about _Me_?"
"You and I count as one. We must do. There's no considering us apart.
She fears that if I were free, it would be one barrier removed, and we
should be the more tempted.--By holding me to my word, she is doing all
that is in her power to prevent--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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