Cassandra had been married ten years, and would be thirty on her next
birthday. When one was a girl it had seemed so impossibly dull to be
thirty. And it was; Cassandra thought it would be vastly more agreeable
to be forty, at once, and be done with it. At forty, one began to grow
stout and grey, to lie down in the afternoon, and feel interested in
committee meetings, and societies, and other people's business. At
thirty, one was still so painfully interested in oneself!
At forty, one _was_ old, looked it, felt it, acknowledged it with body
and mind... but at thirty, it was difficult to be consistently discreet.
At thirty, one _knew_ one was old; with the brain one knew it, but it
was impossible to live consistently up to the knowledge. There were
moments when one felt so extraordinarily, so incredibly young, moments
when the mirror, instead of crying shame on such folly, backed one up in
delusion, and gave back the reflection of a girl!
Cassandra thanked Providence daily for her eyes, her hair, her straight
back, and the dimple in her chin. Viewed in full, her face was a
charming oval; taken in halves it supplied two admirable profiles. The
nose leant a trifle to the left, so that was the side on which she chose
to be photographed and on which she bestowed the prettiest side of her
hats. Cassandra and the mirror enjoyed the hats, and Chumley
disapproved. That was all the satisfaction she got out of their
purchase. Bernard took no notice of clothes during the enchanting
period of their youth, but just when his wife was feeling tired to death
of a garment, he would awake to a consciousness of its existence and
cry: "Holloa, what's this? You are mighty smart. Another new frock?"
Cassandra wished to goodness as he was not more observant, he would not
be observant at all. It made it so awkward to order new things.
Cassandra seated herself in a deep cushioned chair, folded her hands in
her lap, and began one of the animated conversations with her inner self
which were the resource of her idle hours. It was so comfortable
talking to oneself,--one could be honest, could say precisely what one
meant, need have no tiresome fears for other people's susceptibilities.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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