He paused in his walk, and looked round the darkened chamber as if he
feared an actual hidden presence there; then he walked to his
desk, struck a match, and applied it to the wick of a small shaded
reading-lamp; then, stealthily, and with more than one glance over his
shoulder, he unlocked the desk, touched a spring, and drew from a secret
drawer a scrap of paper and a miniature portrait. It was to the paper
he gave his first attention. The writing, originally bold and heavy,
had faded to a faint rusty red, the paper was stained and spotted. ‘Take
your child,’ he read falteringly; ‘and as you use him may God use
you.’ He sat staring at the flame of the lamp, blurred by the mist of
gathering tears.
‘As you use him, may God use you,’ he repeated half aloud. ‘I’ll do my
duty by the boy--I _must!_ Before God, if Moya were alive!--No, even
that wouldn’t mend matters--it wouldn’t even mend her broken heart. It
was not that she wasn’t my lady--not that her vanity was wounded--it was
the treachery! She loved me--she thought me an honest man. It was her
pride in me that was broken. God forgive me! I acted like a villain!’
He took up the portrait and bent his eyes upon it with a long, regretful
gaze. It was the work of a true artist, who had caught and reproduced
with actual fidelity the features and expression of the proud and tender
girl Kilpatrick had betrayed. The bright, gay face, instinct with youth
and happiness, beamed from the picture; the sensitive lips seemed almost
to tremble as the world-worn old man gazed at them. The dress was that
of the better class of an Irish peasant of twenty years ago; but the
hand which held the shawl about the throat wore jewelled rings.
‘She sent back the rings--every scrap and every rag I’d ever given
her,’ said Kilpatrick. They lay in the secret drawer, and rattled as his
blanched fingers drew them forth. ‘She wouldn’t wear the dress I’d given
her when she had this taken. “Let me be as I was when you first knew me,
when the great lord wasn’t ashamed to tell the poor girl he loved her.”’
With a sudden passionate gesture of love and remorse, he carried the
picture to his lips.
‘My lord!’ said a voice so startlingly close that it seemed to be at his
very ear. Kilpatrick turned with a start and beheld a dim form standing
in the shadow of the door.
‘Confound you!’ he said. ‘Who is it?’
‘Just Peebles,’ said that worthy with his usual slow Scotch drawl.
‘Confound you,’ said his lordship again, ‘why didn’t you knock?’
‘I knocked twice,’ said Peebles, ‘and got nae answer. Mr. Conseltine
told me ye needed me.’
Kilpatrick dropped the letter and the miniature back into the desk and
closed and locked it before speaking again.
‘Is Feagus still below?’
‘Ay,’ said Peebles. ‘He’s drinking with Mr. Conseltine and Mr. Richard.
He’s just as drunk as a lord--begging your lordship’s pardon. It’s an
old proverb, and like the most o’ proverbs, it has its exceptions.’
‘Drunk, eh?’ said his lordship musingly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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