Lady Mary Wortley Montague, Her Life and Letters (1689-1762)Melville, Lewis
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Lady Mary Wortley Montague, Her Life and Letters (1689-1762)
Melville, Lewis
Montagu, Mary Wortley, Lady 1689-1762; Montagu, Mary Wortley, Lady 1689-1762 -- Correspondence
"Tis something odd for a woman that brings nothing to expect anything;
but after the way of my education, I dare not pretend to live but in
some degree suitable to it. I had rather die than return to a dependancy
upon relations I have disobliged. Save me from that fear if you love me.
If you cannot, or think I ought not to expect it, be sincere and tell me
so. 'Tis better I should not be yours at all, than, for a short
happiness, involve myself in ages of misery. I hope there will never be
occasion for this precaution; but, however, 'tis necessary to make it. I
depend entirely on your honour, and I cannot suspect you of any way
doing wrong. Do not imagine I shall be angry at anything you can tell
me. Let it be sincere; do not impose on a woman that leaves all things
for you."
No woman could be more sensible than was Lady Mary at this time, and
she gave expression to the most exemplary sentiments.
"A woman that adds nothing to a man's fortune ought not to take from his
happiness. If possible I would add to it; but I will not take from you
any satisfaction you could enjoy without me."
"If we marry, our happiness must consist in loving one another: 'tis
principally my concern to think of the most probable method of making
the love eternal."
"There is one article absolutely necessary--to be ever beloved, one must
be ever agreeable."
"Very few people that have settled entirely in the country but have
grown at length weary of one another. The lady's conversation generally
falls into a thousand impertinent effects of idleness, and the gentleman
falls _in_ love with his dogs and horses and _out_ of love with
everything else."
And so on.
Possibly if Lady Mary had had less brains and more passion, if she had
not so calmly worked out the permutations and combinations of married
life, the alliance might have been more successful. She, with all her
intelligence, did not seem to realise that matrimony is not an affair of
rules and regulations, of aphorisms and epigrams, nor that the lines on
which husband and wife shall conduct themselves to a happy ending can be
settled by a study of vulgar fractions.
Anyhow, the plunge was at last taken--with some not unnatural
trepidation on the part of the twenty-three-year-old bride. On Friday
night, August 15, 1712, she wrote to Montagu:
"I tremble for what we are doing.--Are you sure you will love me for
ever? Shall we never repent? I fear and I hope. I forsee all that will
happen on this occasion. I shall incense my family in the highest
degree. The generality of the world will blame my conduct, and the
relations and friends of ---- will invent a thousand stories of me; yet,
'tis possible, you may recompense everything to me. In this letter,
which I am fond of, you promise me all that I wish. Since I writ so far,
I received your Friday letter. I will be only yours, and I will do what
you please.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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