Lady Patricia: A comedy in three actsBesier, Rudolf
General
Lady Patricia: A comedy in three acts
Besier, Rudolf
English drama (Comedy)
(_Going._) I’ll be back in a moment.
CLARE.
No, stay here. Your tie-pin will do for one. I’ve a safety-pin here
(_fiddling at her waist_), and another somewhere in my collar.... Bring a
cushion here.
MICHAEL.
A cushion?...
CLARE.
(_Still searching for her pins._) Yes—a cushion. (_In a dazed way he
fetches one from LADY PATRICIA’S chair._) Put it down.
MICHAEL.
The cushion?...
(_He stands helplessly holding the cushion, then puts it
back, on the chair._)
CLARE.
Don’t play the giddy goat, Mike! Put the cushion on the ground.
MICHAEL.
Oh, yes—yes, of course.
(_He places it at her feet._)
CLARE.
Kneel down.
MICHAEL.
Eh?
CLARE.
Kneel on the cushion. I want to spare your old joints.
MICHAEL.
Oh....
(_He kneels with a mirthless laugh._)
CLARE.
Now we’ll see if you’re worth your keep. Here are two safety-pins. Make
that tear look respectable.
MICHAEL.
But——
CLARE.
If these safety-pins aren’t enough, use your tie-pin.
MICHAEL.
(_Setting to work._) Very well.
CLARE.
I shall want you afterwards to fasten up the hooks behind.... (_A
pause._) How are you getting on?
MICHAEL.
All right, thanks.
(_He works at her skirt for a moment in silence._)
CLARE.
(_Abruptly._) What’s that boy like?
MICHAEL.
What boy?
CLARE.
Bill O’Farrel.
MICHAEL.
He’s given you a fair specimen of himself in the silly prank he played
just now.
CLARE.
Oh, that seemed to me rather a sporting thing to do.
MICHAEL.
A sporting thing!
CLARE.
Yes. To make an utter ass of himself, and then carry it off with a string
of lies. How are you getting on?
MICHAEL.
(_Surveying his handiwork._) I think that looks better.
CLARE.
It’ll have to do, anyhow.... Now for the hooks. (_MICHAEL sets to work
at the back of her dress._) Begin at the top. I daresay some of the eyes
have got torn. I gave the dress an awful wrench on the tree. Do the best
you can.... Oh, don’t fumble about like that!
(_MICHAEL’S hands tremble as he works. A pause._)
MICHAEL.
(_In a low voice._) Clare....
CLARE.
Well?
MICHAEL.
I love you....
(_A long pause. He stares with breathless expectation at
the back of her head. She looks straight before her._)
CLARE.
Have you finished all the hooks?
MICHAEL.
The hooks?... I—I beg your pardon.... (_He goes on with his work for a
time in silence._) Are you angry with me?
CLARE.
I don’t know.
MICHAEL.
You must have known for some time that I loved you.
CLARE.
(_Turning on him._) Then why do you always annoy me by making love to—to
your wife when I’m there? (_MICHAEL still kneels on the cushion, looking
up at her with abject eyes._) Why don’t you speak?
MICHAEL.
Clare——
CLARE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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