Lady Patricia: A comedy in three acts — John Shaqi
Lady Patricia: A comedy in three actsBesier, Rudolf
General
Lady Patricia: A comedy in three acts
Besier, Rudolf
English drama (Comedy)
BILL.
Well, they’re made of paper, you know.
BALDWIN.
Yessir.... It was the candles I was alludin’ of, sir. They do burn—— (_A
lantern goes out._) Ho!
(_He fiddles about with the string, BILL watching him with
a smile. Suddenly halfway up the central ladder you hear
the voice of LADY PATRICIA sweetly humming. BILL throws a
wild glance around him._)
BILL.
Don’t give me away, Baldwin.
(_He darts into the summer-house at the back and locks the
door._)
BALDWIN.
’Iding-seek!... (_Lowering the lantern._) Whoa!...
(_LADY PATRICIA enters._)
LADY PATRICIA.
Bill?... (_Looks around._) Who were you talking to just now, Baldwin?
BALDWIN.
Mr. O’Farrel, mum.
LADY PATRICIA.
Yes; I thought so—but I don’t see him.
BALDWIN.
No, mum.
LADY PATRICIA.
Where is he?
BALDWIN.
’E’s gorne, m’lady.
LADY PATRICIA.
Gone?
BALDWIN.
Yes’m. You gave yerself away, mum, you did. D’rectly ’e ’eard your
ladyship’s voice ’e was gorne, mum.
LADY PATRICIA.
(_Amazed._) I gave myself away? Directly he heard my voice he was gone?
BALDWIN.
’Twas like as when you come up ’ere before a-lookin’ for the master. Mr.
O’Farrel, ’e was ’ere then, mum. ’E ’eard you, an’ ’e jest ran.
LADY PATRICIA.
Mr. O’Farrel heard me and he ran?
BALDWIN.
Yes’m. An’ if you’ll h’excuse my sayin’ so, mum, it ain’t gumptious to
sing when playin’ ’iding-seek.
LADY PATRICIA.
Playing hide-and-seek?...
BALDWIN.
Yes’m.
LADY PATRICIA.
Hide-and-seek! What on earth are you talking about? I really am afraid,
Baldwin, the full moon must have deprived you of your few remaining wits.
Do you seriously mean to tell me that Mr. O’Farrel ran away twice because
he heard me coming?
BALDWIN.
Yes’m.
LADY PATRICIA.
(_After a dumbfounded pause_) Where did he go to?
BALDWIN.
(_Knowingly._) Beggin’ yer pardon, mum, I really couldn’t tell yer that.
LADY PATRICIA.
You——
(_CLARE enters on the left unperceived, and slips
cautiously behind the trunk._)
BALDWIN.
I arst you, mum, would it be playin’ fair on the young gentleman?
LADY PATRICIA.
(_Edging rather nervously away from him._) I think you had better go home
now, Baldwin. I am afraid you are not quite well. Tell Mrs. Baldwin to
come and see me to-morrow.
BALDWIN.
Yes’m.
(_LADY PATRICIA goes out on the left, throwing a nervous
look back at BALDWIN, who nods his head triumphantly and
pulls up the lantern. CLARE emerges from behind the trunk
and tiptoes towards him._)
BALDWIN.
Whoa!
CLARE.
S-sh!
BALDWIN.
Lord-a-mercy!
CLARE.
Language, Baldwin!
BALDWIN.
Yer did give me a turn, miss.
CLARE.
Sorry! Hullo, drinks! (_Goes to the edge of the platform and looks
cautiously over._) The coast’s clear. I’ll have some soda-water.
BALDWIN.
’Iding-seek do give you a bit of a thirst, miss.
CLARE.
(_Astonished._) Hide-and-seek?
BALDWIN.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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