Lady Sybil's Choice: A Tale of the CrusadesHolt, Emily Sarah
History
Lady Sybil's Choice: A Tale of the Crusades
Holt, Emily Sarah
Crusades -- Fiction; Historical fiction
"Ah, let my Damoiselle hush there!" cried the old woman, in a tone of
positive pain. "No, no, never! She does not mean to cut her old nurse
to the heart, who loves her so dearly. But she will do it, if she says
such things of the gracious Lord."
"Now, Margot, listen to me. I thought something was going to happen
which would wring my heart to its very core. All night long I lay
awake, praying and crying to God to stay it. And He has not heard me.
He has let it happen—knowing what it would be to me. And dost thou not
call that cruel?"
"Ah, I guessed right. Satan is tempting my Damoiselle, very, very hard.
I thought so from her face.—Damoiselle, the good Lord cannot be cruel:
it is not in His nature. No, no!"
"Dost thou know what has happened, Margot?"
"I? Ha!—no."
"The Lady Sybil, incited by her nobles, has consented to divorce Count
Guy, and wed with another."
I saw astonishment, grief, indignation, chase one another over old
Marguerite’s face, followed by a look of extreme perplexity. For a few
moments she stood thus, and did not speak. Then she put her hands
together, like a child at prayer, and lifted her eyes upward.
"Sir God," she said, "I cannot understand it. I do not at all see why
this is. Good Lord, it puzzles poor old Marguerite very much. But Thou
knowest. Thou knowest all things. And Thou canst not be hard, nor
cruel, whatever things may look like. Thou art love. Have patience
with us, Sir God, when we are puzzled, and when it looks to us as if
things were going all wrong. And teach the child, for she does not
know. My poor lamb is quite lost in the wilderness, and the great wolf
is very near her. Gentle Jesu Christ, leave the ninety and nine safe
locked in the good fold, and come and look for this little lamb. If
Thou dost not come, the great wolf will get her. And she is Thy little
lamb. It is very cold in the wilderness, and very dark. Oh, do make
haste!"
"Thou seemest to think that God Almighty is sure to hear thee, Margot,"
said I wearily.
Yet I could not help feeling touched by that simple prayer for me.
"Hear me?" she said. "Ah no, my Damoiselle, I cannot expect God
Almighty to hear me. But He will hear the blessed Christ. He always
hears Him. And He will ask for me what I really need, which is far
better than hearing me. Because, my Damoiselle sees, I make so many
blunders; but He makes none."
"What blunders didst thou make just now, Margot?"
"Ha! Do I know, I? When He translated it into the holy language of
Heaven, the blessed Christ would put them all right. Maybe, where I
said, ’Be quick,’ He would say, ’Be slow.’"
"I am sure that would be a blunder!" said I bitterly.
"Ha! Does it not seem so, to my Damoiselle and her servant? But the
good God knows. If my Damoiselle would only trust Him!"
"’Trust’!" cried I, thinking of Sybil. "Ah, Margot, I have had enough
of trusting. I feel as if I could never trust man again—nor woman."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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