England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Villages -- Fiction
Florence went faithfully to Mrs. Gould’s to ask for the nurse, though
she knew the nurse was not there. A man, perhaps, would have departed
from that position when it was no longer necessary, but she considered
it needful, as a proof of good faith, to carry out her announced
intention. It was a long way round, and then she had to make another
tour to get to the place where the nurse really was, so that her walk
altogether occupied some three-quarters of an hour more than it need
have done, and the time was long, although, on the other hand, she was
glad to have it to herself, and to get over the pang of that abrupt
separation. She knew very well what it was that the curate had to say to
her. It had been on his lips for many days, and she had dreaded it, not
because she did not want to hear it, but because of a girl’s natural
evasion of the moment she wishes for most, the shy, half mischievous,
half visionary putting off of the sweet cup from the lips. The
expectation of it was sweet; all the pleasures of imagination lay in
that moment which would bring an entire change in her life, a
remodelling of all its circumstances. Florence had taken a pleasure in
stealing away, in postponing till to-morrow. But it cannot be said that
she experienced that pleasure to-day. She felt that she had received a
blow when the curate turned with that hasty leave-taking and left her.
To run away is one thing, and hold off a joy which is on the way; but to
be thus abandoned is another. It gave her a dull shock like that of an
unexpected, uncomprehended blow. She had wondered how he would take her
remonstrance, her statement of what she thought his duty, which had been
on her lips so long; but she had never expected him to take it with
instant offence, with a resentment which drove all other thoughts out of
his mind. What did he resent? To have this duty which he did not wish to
recognise pointed out to him, or that she should venture to point it
out--she only a girl, and the girl who, by loving him, he perhaps
thought was bound to see no flaw in him? Florence was not one of those
who can see nothing but excellence in those they love, but she felt,
with a momentary gleam of insight sharpened by pain, that perhaps Mr.
Osborne was of the kind which requires that in a woman. She had not
thought of the possibility before, that this might not be merely a
momentary offence, but a wound from which he would not recover, which he
would not forgive. A love-quarrel ever seems thus even when of the most
trivial origin. It appears at once tragic, a thing never to be got over:
an end of all the romance. Florence’s heart went down, down to the very
depths. She said to herself that it was all over: that the last step
would never now be taken, that there would be no more all her life but
only an aching void, not even the recollection of words said that never
could be forgotten. Had she let him speak she would at least have had
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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