LADY WINDERMERE. Put it there, Parker. That will do. [_Wipes her hands with her pocket-handkerchief_, _goes to tea-table_, _and sits down_.] Won’t you come over, Lord Darlington? [_Exit_ PARKER _C._] LORD DARLINGTON. [_Takes chair and goes across L.C._] I am quite miserable, Lady Windermere. You must tell me what I did. [_Sits down at table L._] LADY WINDERMERE. Well, you kept paying me elaborate compliments the whole evening. LORD DARLINGTON. [_Smiling_.] Ah, nowadays we are all of us so hard up, that the only pleasant things to pay _are_ compliments. They’re the only things we _can_ pay. LADY WINDERMERE. [_Shaking her head_.] No, I am talking very seriously. You mustn’t laugh, I am quite serious. I don’t like compliments, and I don’t see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn’t mean. LORD DARLINGTON. Ah, but I did mean them. [_Takes tea which she offers him_.] LADY WINDERMERE. [_Gravely_.] I hope not. I should be sorry to have to quarrel with you, Lord Darlington. I like you very much, you know that. But I shouldn’t like you at all if I thought you were what most other men are. Believe me, you are better than most other men, and I sometimes think you pretend to be worse. LORD DARLINGTON. We all have our little vanities, Lady Windermere. LADY WINDERMERE. Why do you make that your special one? [_Still seated at table L._] LORD DARLINGTON. [_Still seated L.C._] Oh, nowadays so many conceited people go about Society pretending to be good, that I think it shows rather a sweet and modest disposition to pretend to be bad. Besides, there is this to be said. If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn’t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism. LADY WINDERMERE. Don’t you _want_ the world to take you seriously then, Lord Darlington? LORD DARLINGTON. No, not the world. Who are the people the world takes seriously? All the dull people one can think of, from the Bishops down to the bores. I should like _you_ to take me very seriously, Lady Windermere, _you_ more than any one else in life. LADY WINDERMERE. Why—why me? LORD DARLINGTON. [_After a slight hesitation_.] Because I think we might be great friends. Let us be great friends. You may want a friend some day. LADY WINDERMERE. Why do you say that? LORD DARLINGTON. Oh!—we all want friends at times. LADY WINDERMERE. I think we’re very good friends already, Lord Darlington. We can always remain so as long as you don’t— LORD DARLINGTON. Don’t what?