LORD AUGUSTUS. She’s explained that too. DUMBY. And her income, Tuppy? Has she explained that? LORD AUGUSTUS. [_In a very serious voice_.] She’s going to explain that to-morrow. [CECIL GRAHAM _goes back to C. table_.] DUMBY. Awfully commercial, women nowadays. Our grandmothers threw their caps over the mills, of course, but, by Jove, their granddaughters only throw their caps over mills that can raise the wind for them. LORD AUGUSTUS. You want to make her out a wicked woman. She is not! CECIL GRAHAM. Oh! Wicked women bother one. Good women bore one. That is the only difference between them. LORD AUGUSTUS. [_Puffing a cigar_.] Mrs. Erlynne has a future before her. DUMBY. Mrs. Erlynne has a past before her. LORD AUGUSTUS. I prefer women with a past. They’re always so demmed amusing to talk to. CECIL GRAHAM. Well, you’ll have lots of topics of conversation with _her_, Tuppy. [_Rising and going to him_.] LORD AUGUSTUS. You’re getting annoying, dear-boy; you’re getting demmed annoying. CECIL GRAHAM. [_Puts his hands on his shoulders_.] Now, Tuppy, you’ve lost your figure and you’ve lost your character. Don’t lose your temper; you have only got one. LORD AUGUSTUS. My dear boy, if I wasn’t the most good-natured man in London— CECIL GRAHAM. We’d treat you with more respect, wouldn’t we, Tuppy? [_Strolls away_.] DUMBY. The youth of the present day are quite monstrous. They have absolutely no respect for dyed hair. [LORD AUGUSTUS _looks round angrily_.] CECIL GRAHAM. Mrs. Erlynne has a very great respect for dear Tuppy. DUMBY. Then Mrs. Erlynne sets an admirable example to the rest of her sex. It is perfectly brutal the way most women nowadays behave to men who are not their husbands. LORD WINDERMERE. Dumby, you are ridiculous, and Cecil, you let your tongue run away with you. You must leave Mrs. Erlynne alone. You don’t really know anything about her, and you’re always talking scandal against her. CECIL GRAHAM. [_Coming towards him L.C._] My dear Arthur, I never talk scandal. _I_ only talk gossip. LORD WINDERMERE. What is the difference between scandal and gossip? CECIL GRAHAM. Oh! gossip is charming! History is merely gossip. But scandal is gossip made tedious by morality. Now, I never moralise. A man who moralises is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralises is invariably plain. There is nothing in the whole world so unbecoming to a woman as a Nonconformist conscience. And most women know it, I’m glad to say. LORD AUGUSTUS. Just my sentiments, dear boy, just my sentiments. CECIL GRAHAM. Sorry to hear it, Tuppy; whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong. LORD AUGUSTUS. My dear boy, when I was your age— CECIL GRAHAM. But you never were, Tuppy, and you never will be. [_Goes up C._] I say, Darlington, let us have some cards. You’ll play, Arthur, won’t you? LORD WINDERMERE. No, thanks, Cecil.