_Children._ Silver. _H.M.I._ Quite right; and this? (fumbling for a half-sovereign, but on failing to find it, rashly flourishing his seal ring in their faces). _Children_ (to the infinite amusement of the Vicar's daughter). Brass! _H.M.I._ My dear children, no! It's gold. Look more closely at it, now--yes, you may hand it round. Now what use do you think I have for this ring? _Little Girl._ Please, Sir, to be married with. (Vicar's daughter convulsed in the corner.) _H.M.I._ No, no! _Men_ don't wear wedding rings. But when your father seals a letter what does he do it with? _Little boy_ (briskly). Please, sir, a brass farden. Another good school story is told by the late Rev. Robert Lamb, already quoted. This was also a school examination, and the particular topic the Apostles' Creed. I may venture to repeat the story without being charged with irreverence, considering that it is told by a clergyman. The boys in the class had evidently been drilled in the subject for some days previously, and each of them had his own special portion to repeat as his turn came. "By whom was He conceived?" the Examiner asked from the book. "He was conceived by the Holy Ghost," was the ready answer. "Of whom was He born?" was the question to the next boy. "He was born of the Virgin Mary," responded the youth boldly. "Under whom did He suffer?" was the question addressed to the third in order. "He was crucified, dead and buried," said the boy in a whining, hesitating tone, as if conscious that all was not right. "No, no! _Under_ whom did He suffer? _By_ whom was he crucified?" The lad repeated the same words in the same drawling tone. The question was put a third time, and the same answer returned; when one of the class, more intelligent than the rest, stepped forward, and, after a twitch of his frontal lock, and an awkward scrape of the foot, said, in a tone half supplicatory, half explanatory: "Please, Sir, Pontius Pilate has getten th' ma-sles!" Meaning, of course, that the boy who had been crammed to give the answer to that particular question was laid up at home of the measles. An exacting critic of the story might be ready to object and say that it was within the right of the Examiner to put his questions to the boys in an "order promiscuous." Well, I can only answer that he didn't; besides, it is not the proper thing to spoil a good story by captious criticism. * * * * * In the earlier days of gas-lighting an old fellow in a Lancashire town had the new light introduced into his house. It gave great satisfaction at first, but later the light began to be troublesome by bobbing up and down, and at times flickering out. Unable to remedy the defect he sought the gas office and angrily lodged his complaint with the manager. The latter promised to send a man to have the lights put in order.