Artists -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
And she? It is paying her no great compliment to say that she was
equal to the task; it is making no strong accusation against her to
say that she had expected and accepted the position from the first.
I am at a loss how exactly to set forth this woman's character as I
feel it, fearful of enlarging on defects without showing something
in their palliation--more fearful of omitting some mental ingredient
which might serve to explain the twofold workings of her mind. When
she left her home it was under the influence of love and pride; wild
girlish adoration of the "swell:" the man with the thick moustache,
the white hands, the soft voice, the well-made boots; the man so
different in every respect from any thing she had previously known;
and girlish pride in enslaving one in social rank far beyond the
railway-clerks, merchants' book-keepers, and Custom-House agents, who
were marked down as game by her friends and compeers. The step once
taken, she was a girl no more; her own natural hardihood came to her
aid, and enabled her to hold her own wherever she went. The man her
companion,--a man of society simply from mixing with society, but
naturally sheepish and stupid,--was amazed at her wondrous calmness and
self-possession under all sorts of circumstances. It was an odd sort of
_camaraderie_ in which they mixed, both at home and abroad; one where
the _laissez-aller_ spirit was always predominant, and where those who
said and did as they liked were generally most appreciated; but there
was a something in Margaret Dacre which compelled a kind of respect
even from the wildest. Where she was, the drink never degenerated into
an orgie; and though the _cancans_ and _doubles entendres_ might ring
round the room, all outward signs of decency were preserved. In the
wild crew with which she was mixed she stood apart, sometimes riding
the whirlwind with them, but always directing the storm; and while
invariably showing herself the superior, so tempering her superiority
as to gain the obedience and respect, if not the regard, of all those
among whom she was thrown. How did this come about? Hear it in one
sentence--that she was as cold as ice, and as heartless as a stone.
She loved the man who had betrayed her with all the passion which had
been vouchsafed to her. She loved him, as I have said, at first, from
his difference to all her hitherto surroundings; then she loved him
for having made her love him and yield to him. She had not sufficient
mental power to analyse her own feelings; but she recognised that
she had not much heart, was not easily moved; and therefore she gave
extraordinary credit, which he did not deserve, to him who had had the
power to turn her as he listed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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