Artists -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
There are no words to tell what this good fellow suffered in his
kindly, unselfish, simple way, as day by day the conviction forced
itself upon him that the woman he had so loved, the woman for whom he
lived, and worked, and thought, and hoped, was more and more divided
from him by some barrier--all the more impassable because he could
not point to it and demand an explanation of its presence, or utter a
plea for its removal. He would sit in his painting-room quite idle,
and with a moody brow--unlike the Geoff Ludlow of old times--and think
and puzzle himself about his wife; he would sometimes work, in short
desultory fits of industry, desperately, as though putting thought
from him by main force; and then he would meet Margaret, at meals or
other times of association, with so indifferent an assumption of being
just as usual, that it was wonderful she did not notice the change in
her husband. But Geoffrey did not interest her, and Margaret did not
observe him with any curiosity. The state of mind of this ill-assorted
pair at this time was very curious, had there been any one to
understand and analyse it.
"What can it be?" Geoffrey would ask himself. "I cannot make it out.
She does not take any interest in any thing. I thought all women loved
their children at least, and the coldest warmed to their infants; but
she does not."
Geoffrey had ceased to wonder at Margaret's coldness to him. She had
always been cold, and latterly her reserve and silence had increased.
She made no effort to hide the _ennui_ which wholly possessed her; she
made no attempt to simulate the interest in his occupations which she
had never felt in more than a lukewarm degree. His perceptions were not
very quick; but when he did see a thing, he was apt to understand and
reason upon it, and he reasoned upon this now; he pondered upon it and
upon his marriage, and he wondered when he remembered the joy and hope
with which he had entered upon the pretty, comfortable new home and the
quiet industrious life. What had come to it all? What had changed it,
and yet left it the same? He had not failed in any duty to this woman;
he had not given her less, but more than he had promised; for he was
much better off than he had hoped to be, and she had the command of
every shilling he earned. Never had an unkind word, a negligent act,
a failure in the tenderest of household kindnesses, recorded itself
in her memory against this man, who was her preserver, her protector,
her husband. Surprise, trouble, vague apprehension, above all, the
bewilderment of inexplicable wrong, were in Geoffrey's mind; but not a
touch of bitterness against her. He remembered the story she had told
him, and the promise he had pledged to her, and his generous heart
rested in the assurance she had then given him, and sought no farther.
His was not the nature which would count up the items in the bargain
between them, and set down the large balance that really existed on
his side.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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