So far as I can learn, nobody protests against being legitimately represented in the newspapers. Why not be honest about it? The hypocrisy of some men is sickening. Paying clandestinely for newspaper write-ups is despicable, yet some of the very men who protest that they “really don’t see how that could have gotten into the papers,” have paid for the advertising in good “coin of the realm.” It is queer that the newspapers should write up the most minute details of the wonderful exploits of some poor fellows, together with their family histories, and publish their photographs, without their knowledge or consent—especially queer when we read in conclusion that “Professor John Doe is the greatest surgeon that ever lived.” Why not come out and acknowledge that these are paid for? This would give an equal chance to all, and especially to young fellows who have money enough to pay for similar things. He who has not the price should not find fault with the fellow who has, for, “business is business.” Meanwhile, my young friends, remember that “big mountains may do what little mountains may not do.” When Koch’s tuberculin was yet new, soon after it escaped, half-fledged from the laboratory, only to be captured and made to perform like a trick monkey for the benefit of the laity, there came a ring at the phone of a prominent daily paper: “Hello, is this the Daily Bazoo?” “Huh, huh, it are.” “Well, I’m Dr. Squirtem Galls. I wish you would send a reporter over here at once. I want to be interviewed on Koch’s tuberculin.” It is said 29that $25 changed hands, but I don’t believe it. The gentleman would never advertise—at that rate—“no sir-ree.” My informant was once the sporting editor of the War Cry, and hence unworthy of credence. And what wonderful contributions the newspaper-great-men are making to science! The daily paper is the place to study appendicitis and things. It is not long since I learned from a distinguished surgeon friend of mine, via a daily paper, that evidence of a blow having been received on the head is an imperative indication for craniectomy, whether symptoms are present or not. In preference to the clandestine methods now in vogue, would it not be better for men in authority to write signed articles for the newspapers and intelligently present medical matter to the public? But that wouldn’t be ethical, would it? Such topics as “Advice to Young Men,” “Letters to Young Wives” and “How to Keep Healthy,” must be left to the quacks. We will confine ourselves to the surreptitious blowing of surgical horns and never mind the false notes.