12The assertion has been made that the general poverty of the medical profession is due to a lack of appreciation and a contempt for the rights of the medical man on the part of the public at large. This, however, is a secondary matter which, being self-evident, overshadows the primary cause—the asinine stupidity of the profession itself. As a broad, general proposition the reputable profession as a whole has about as much sense as the dodo, and, unless signs fail, will, sooner or later, meet the fate of that remarkable bird. How the profession can expect the respect and appreciation of the public when it has no respect or appreciation for itself is difficult to conjecture. The public cannot be expected to keep clean the nest of the medical dodo. Furthermore, the public quite rationally values the stupid thing according to its self-appraisement. Primarily, the practice of medicine is supposed to be founded on a mawkish, blanket-like sentiment of philanthropy, which is expected to cover both God’s and the devil’s patients—the pauper and the dead-beat—the honest man and the rascal—the rich and poor alike. The doctor is expected to wallow eye-deep in the milk of human kindness, scattering it broadcast for the benefit of humanity, but he is in no wise expected to even absorb a little of it, much less to swallow a gulp or two occasionally for his own benefit. By way of piling Pelion upon Ossa, the public, having discovered that the doctor sets little value on his own services, proceeds to eye him with suspicion; the tradesman is very careful how he trusts doctors. Of course the tradesman has his own family physician 13“hung up” for a goodly sum, but—knowing doctors to be poor business men—the tradesman often cheats them in both the quality and price of goods. It is a great and goodly game that plays from both ends and catches the victim in the middle. The tradesman has one redeeming feature, however; he does his best to teach his doctor patrons a lesson. He either sends his goods C.O.D., or, if the doctor be one of the favored ones, he finds the bill in his mail bright and early on the first of the month. I often think my tradesmen must sit up all night in order to get their bills in bright and early on the first. If not paid by the 15th, a collector is usually at the doctor’s office to see about it.