“Yes; but we all are that, aren’t we?” He says it simply, and without
any special observation of her to note its effect; and yet once again,
for the third time, that nameless suspicious fear of his having found
her out lays its chilly fingers upon her. “Shall we walk off some of our
exuberant cheerfulness? Do you feel inclined for a stroll?”
Her last “stroll” returns upon her memory with dizzying vividness.
“Isn’t the sun rather hot still?”
“We shall not feel him in the woods, or in Rumsey Brake by the pool.”
Her tilted chair--needless defence--falls on its fore legs with a sharp
noise, dropped from her trembling grasp.
“I do not think I feel woody or poolly.”
“We will go along the high-road, then, the road to Sutton Rivers. There
is always a good deal of traffic along that road--nice carts and
steam-rollers and things!”
A spice of the old light mockery flavours his tone, and she knows that
he has read off like print the misgiving in her mind. If he has read
that, how much more may he not have read too?
The road chosen drops down the hill, and runs through the village. They
pass the beautiful old farm that looks like a manor-house, with its
bronzing walnut trees that wear their spring favours differently from
most others; past schools and open cottage doors, Rupert greeting
shirt-sleeved men with the familiarity born of a lifetime of nods, and
Lavinia saluting matronly women with an intimacy sprung from
maternity-bags. And as she goes, the village tragedies present
themselves for competition with her own. Can that girl who has “gone
wrong,” and is sitting on her parents’ doorstep with her unfathered
child upon her knees, feel a greater weight of remorse and shame than
one kiss has crushed her under? Can the old widow whose last surviving
son was carried off yesterday to the madhouse, feel a deeper, more
irreparable sense of loss than hers?
“Joe Perry was taken away to the asylum yesterday,” she says, imparting
her lugubrious fact, though not the comparison for which she has used
it, to her companion. “He became so violent that it was unavoidable. His
mother, I believe, fought like a tiger to prevent it!”
“Poor soul!”
What fitter ejaculation can he make in answer to such a tale? and yet
her diseased fancy instantly brings to mind that Binning had applied the
same epithet to Féodorovna! As they pass another cottage--
“Carter has gone on the drink again.”
“Has he?”
Yet a third. “Little Harry Brown has got double pneumonia; the doctor
does not think he can save him! He says he has no constitution.”
“Is it to bring down that exuberant cheerfulness of ours that we were
talking of, that you are telling me all these catastrophes?” asks
Rupert, rebelling at last.
“It does seem rather hard to be greeted by such a list of casualties,”
she answers, confused and confounded; “but you see you have been away a
good while--long enough for more than our _usual_ average of disasters
to happen.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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