But _how_? Have not her inward misgivings warned her all along? Yet it
can be only by intuition. Even had any one seen her in Rumsey Brake--the
very fire of hell seems to scorch her at the suggestion--even had any
one seen her, what opportunity has that unknown talebearer had of
betraying her to Rupert? Rupert returned only half an hour ago, and has
had speech of no one but herself and the servants. Is the porter at the
station likely to have conveyed the news of her unfaithfulness to him,
as an agreeable item of local intelligence, while shouldering his
portmanteau? or the coachman to have shouted it through the front window
of the brougham? Yet to the abject terror of the girl’s guilty
consciousness, either of these absurdities seems more likely than that
the significance of her _fiancé’s_ tone in reiterating his question came
there by accident? He _knows_, if not by the ordinary processes and
channels, yet by right of that terrible plate-glass window into her
soul, of which he has always had the monopoly. All her life he has saved
her the trouble of explanations, by a mastery of her thoughts which
makes utterance of them superfluous. If she allows him, he will save her
trouble to-day.
Athwart the darkness of her terror of discovery flashes an arrow of
light. If he knows already, what use is there in further feigning? If he
knows by intuition, he will know by the same means how she has
struggled; how utterly against her own will has been her disloyalty.
Already an insidious sense of relief and comfort is beginning to steal
over her in the flashed idea of how easy he will make it to her; of how
perfectly his unselfish insight will apprehend by what innocent steps
she has grown guilty towards him; and again he will be the brother from
whom she has no secrets; together they will acknowledge the fatal error
of their late attitude towards each other; together they will admire,
with easy minds and steadfast countenances, the cheerfulness of the
nursery wall papers. And her uncle? And her debt?--the debt whose
colossal obligation the partner and cause of her unfaithfulness has so
fully admitted; has so little blinked the overmastering necessity of
paying? It is all packed into thirty seconds--relief, hope, recurring
terror and despair; the thirty seconds between his question, and the one
with which--how unlike her in its shiftiness--she answers him.
“Why shouldn’t it? Do not you think there are enough already?”
“Quite; but all the same there _is_ another.”
“What do you mean?” A sort of false stoutness of heart is coming to her
aid. It is impossible that he can know except by intuition, and what is
known only by intuition may be safely and successfully denied and given
the lie to, if only it is done with enough brazenness and pertinacity.
He answers her with a collected insistence that shows her of how little
use her unworthy subterfuges have been or ever can be, as between these
two.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account