The silence of children gone to bed, and of a rector having his final
wrestle with the difficulty which he must share with many thousand
clerical brothers, of saying something original upon the morrow’s
anniversary, broods upon the Rectory. Half a dozen Christmas sermons of
previous years lie neatly typewritten before Mr. Darcy, so that
recognizable repetitions may be avoided. The double doubt as to whether
he dare repeat a simile, certainly felicitous, but whose very excellence
may make it remembered, and which had occurred in his discourse of ’96,
coupled with the question as to whether he shall insert any allusion to
Rupert Campion’s death, keeps him sitting with suspended pen at his
knee-hole writing-table, though the church clock has struck ten.
Over the drawing-room fire Mrs. Darcy is sitting alone, with hands
stretched out flamewards, telling herself that, in view of the fatigue
of Christmas Day, with its workhouse dinner, its school tea, and many
etceteras of festal labour, she ought to go to bed; but, reconciling
herself to her disobedience to the inward fiat by the fallacy that it
would be extravagant to leave so good a fire to burn itself out alone.
Her tired body is in the Rectory drawing-room, but her intensely awake
soul has travelled across the road, and up the sloping garden of Campion
Place, to where, behind the latched shutters, the returned wanderers sit
in the aloofness lent by their crown of sorrows. They were to arrive at
half-past eight o’clock. Would she have done better if she had been on
the doorstep to receive them? It was a feeling of delicacy that had kept
her away; but would it not have been better to have risked being
indelicate, so that _one_ pair of arms might be opened to enfold the
desolate couple, and put a little warmth into the deadly chill of their
naked home-coming? Sir George has certainly gone to bed by now. The
later accounts of his condition, bare of detail as they have been, have
indicated a declension into completely invalid habits. Lavinia as
certainly is sitting over the fire alone--alone, like herself--but,
unlike herself, with no nursery-ful of kissed children, no dear, pompous
devoted husband so filling the vacant chambers of her heart, that
absence means but a keener sense of their beloved presence. The telling
her own riches strikes the rector’s wife with a generous compunction,
almost a feeling of guilt towards her friend in her cold heart-poverty.
“If I had only hung up a stocking for her!” she cries inwardly; and then
derides herself for the puerility of the thought. “What gift capable of
gladdening Lavinia’s Christmas morning could Santa Claus himself put
into her stocking? If it were not so late!” she says to herself, a
moment afterwards; “if the bell would not wake Sir George----”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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