“Every day for five months--sometimes _twice_ a day, for his mind is a
good deal gone--I have given him all, or”--with a slight shiver--“almost
all the details of the--the _accident_! If I had been asked beforehand,
I should have thought that even an allusion to it would drive me mad;
and I have had to describe it twice a day!” She makes her narration in a
perfectly collected level voice, and her friend’s false shyness dies for
ever, overwhelmed by an avalanche of compassion.
“How are you alive?” she asks almost inaudibly.
“You must not pity me!” returns the other, still with the awe-inspiring
calm of one that has reached the limit of possible suffering, and come
out beyond it into the dead waters of numbed endurance. “Other
people--_all_ other people would do that; but I expect _you_ to
understand. I am _glad_ to be punished! glad to be working out my
sentence like a convict. It is the only thing that has given me any
ease! I think that even Rupert, if he can see me--I do not think that he
much believed that he would be able”--with a dragging accent of
sorrowful reluctance--“but if he can, even he will think the expiation
is not out of proportion to the offence!”
“It is an idea that would never have occurred to him!” says Mrs. Darcy,
in a tone of the gentlest chiding. “You are forgetting him!”
“_Forgetting_ him!” repeats Lavinia, slowly. “Yes,” after a slight
pause, “you are right; crediting him with dismal dogmas of retribution,
that he would have abhorred! Yes, I must be forgetting him!”
“My dear,” comes the voice of the rector, opening the door and looking
in, with a brow cleared by having decided to omit the ’96 flower of
speech, and defer the allusion to Rupert till New Year’s Eve, “what has
possessed you to unbar the hall-door? It surely is not a night for
star-gazing! _Miss Carew!_”
* * * * *
The Darcy Christmas Day has been worked through with its usual cheerful
thoroughness. The reciprocal presentations; the church services; the
workhouse dinner; the school-children’s tea, with its posthumous
accompaniment of oranges and crackers; the servants’ evening
party;--nothing has been scamped. The family Christmas gift to the
poodle has been a photograph of Binning, which he wears upon his
brow--all other available parts of his person being already occupied by
the effigies of general officers--when he is walked by his beautifully
frilled fore paws between Phillida and Daphne into the mistletoed
kitchen to open the ball.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account