“You have been telling him of the event of the neighbourhood, I
suppose?” answers Mrs. Darcy; her eye fixed rather intentionally upon
her two elder daughters, who between them are lugging a large
turkey-hen, who is not intended to sit, from a primrosy nest improvised
in the Tugela bank--“the opening of Féodorovna Prince’s hospital?”
“I am on my way to visit one of the patients,” replies Lavinia. “That
reminds me I must be off! I wish it was over! I wonder why I dread it so
much?”
“It is never pleasant to have one’s old cuts torn open,” answers Mrs.
Darcy.
The explanation is rational, even to obviousness; but it is not
satisfactory. Painful and tear-producing as the scene between herself
and the man who was the innocent cause of poor Bill’s death must
naturally be, the feeling that had existed between herself and her
cousin, though warm and true, had not been of a nature to account for
the state of trepidating dread with which she approaches the interview.
And yet is it all dread? Is not there, too, a strong element of excited
anticipation, that has no kinship with pain? Is it the spring, that
incorrigible merry-maker, that is answerable for her elation? Is it the
determined budding of everything about her, that makes her feel as if
she were budding too? Is it because Rupert has returned? For a quarter
of a mile she tries to persuade herself that this is the reason; but the
negative that is given in her _for intérieur_ is so emphatic and
persistent that she has to accept it.
Passing the edge of the King’s Wood, she steps aside to pick one or two
of the myriad wood anemones that, vanquishing the piled dead leaves more
successfully than the primroses, floor it with their pensive poetic
heads and graceful green collars. Rupert is always pleased when she
presents him with a posy. They would be fresher if she waited to gather
them on her way back; but some obscure instinct, which she does not in
the least recognize, hints darkly to her that on her way back she will
perhaps not remember to pay the little attention. As she looks at the
drooped heads blushing pinkily in her hand, she tries idly to picture
what her impression of Rupert would be were it he whom she were about to
see for the first time. She tries to picture _his_ head lying in patient
pain upon a pillow--yes; so far imagination obeys easily: Rupert would
be patient enough; he has had a good apprenticeship, poor fellow!--his
cheeks hollowed with suffering--yes; fancy runs along docilely enough
still: they are not too plump already; no one can accuse Rupert of
superfluous flesh--his chest swathed in bandages, where the Mauser
bullet took its clean course through his body, so closely shaving his
heart. No!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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