Yet even while she repeats the Biblical phrase aloud, to give it greater
solidity, a sense of her own hypocrisy comes hotly home to her.
All these things are against her. But is there nothing for her too?
Isn’t the May month for her? and the temporary freedom assured to her
fifteen minutes ago? and her own heart, capering and curvetting, under
all its pack-load of scruples and compunctions?
“For” and “against.” In what a double and contradictory sense is she
using both prepositions! She pulls herself up muddled and uneasy, yet
helped out of her puzzle by the delicious egotistical noise a thrush is
making on a bough near by, insisting on telling all passers-by, at the
top of his voice, how well his suit has thriven. A phrase out of one of
Keats’ Letters recurs to her _àpropos_ of a like feathered Anacreon--
“That thrush is a fine fellow. I hope he has made a good choice this
year.”
Happy thrush, to be in a position to make a choice! Daily, or almost
daily, as have been Lavinia’s visits to the wounded man, she never fails
before each one to feel afresh the same almost sick excitement as to the
precise method of their meeting. To a not very observant onlooker there
would not seem to be much variety in their salutations, but to her now
practised eye and ear, there lies an infinite range of gradations
between the clouded gladness of his mute, yet how legible, “It is very
good of your owner to lend you to me for yet another hour!” and the
equally mute uncalculating exultation that knows no to-morrow of “You
are here!”
To-day she might have spared herself the daily fever of her speculation,
since their meeting is to fall out in quite a new manner, and under safe
conditions of large chaperonage. Captain Binning is no longer either in
bed or in the room which has been the scene of their whole acquaintance.
He has been moved several hours ago into the adjoining room, and now
lies on a sofa drawn up to the window. He is still pillow-backed and
more than semi-recumbent; but he is “up” and the first step has been
taken towards the fulfilment of Dr. Roots’ promise.
Lavinia’s heart first bounds and then drops stone-like at the sight.
Thank God, he has reached the first milestone on the high-road to health
and vigour. How many more will take him beyond her ken? No man can fight
the enemies of his country in bandages and a nightingale, but from grey
flannel to khaki is but a step! Captain Binning is, as one glance at the
_mise en scène_ informs her, giving a housewarming in honour of his
convalescence. The prudence of the step may be doubted, but that it is
being enjoyed by guests and host is indubitable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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