Leaves from the Diary of an Impressionist: Early WritingsHearn, Lafcadio
General
Leaves from the Diary of an Impressionist: Early Writings
Hearn, Lafcadio
Literature
Now I feel, padre, that but little time is allotted me to speak. I may
never recount to thee my wanderings, and they, indeed, are of small
moment.--Enough to tell thee that I never again could find the path
to the fountains and to her, so that she became lost to me. And when
I found myself again among men, lo! the whole world was changed, and
the Spaniards I met spake not the tongue of my time, and they mocked
the quaintness of my ways and jibed at the fashion of my speech. And
my tale I dared tell to none, through fear of being confined with
madmen, save to thee alone, and for this purpose only I summoned thee.
Surely had I lived much in this new age of thine men must have deemed
me bereft of reason, seeing that my words and ways were not like unto
theirs; but I have passed my years in the morasses of unknown tropics,
with the python and the cayman,--and in the dark remoteness of forests
inhabited by monstrous things,--and in forgotten ruins of dead Indian
cities,--and by shores of strange rivers that have no names,--until
my hair whitened and my limbs were withered and my great strength was
utterly spent in looking for her.
'Verily, my son,' spake the confessor, 'any save a priest might well
deem thee mad,--though thy speech and thy story be not of to-day. Yet I
do believe thy tale. Awesome it is and strange; but the traditions of
the Holy Church contain things that are not less strange: witness the
legend of the Blessed Seven of Ephesus, whose lives were three hundred
and sixty years preserved that the heresy concerning the resurrection
of the flesh might be confounded forever. Even in some such way hath
the Lord preserved thee through the centuries for this thine hour of
repentance. Commend, therefore, thy soul to God, repentingly, and
banish utterly from thee that evil spirit who still tempts thee in the
semblance of woman.'
'Repent!' wonderingly spake the wanderer, whose great black eyes flamed
up again as with the fires of his youth; 'I do not repent, I shall
never repent,--nor did I summon thee hither that thou shouldst seek
to stir me to any repentance.--Nay! more than mine own soul I love
her,--unutterably, unswervingly, everlastingly! Aye! greater a thousand
fold is my love of her than is thy hope of heaven, thy dread of death,
thy fear of hell.--Repent--beyond all time shall I love her, through
eternity of eternities,--aye! as thou wouldst say, even _por los siglos
de los siglos_.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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