Lectures of Col. R. G. Ingersoll, Volume I: Including His Answers to the Clergy, His Oration at His Brother's Grave, Etc., Etc.Ingersoll, Robert Green
Religion
Lectures of Col. R. G. Ingersoll, Volume I: Including His Answers to the Clergy, His Oration at His Brother's Grave, Etc., Etc.
Ingersoll, Robert Green
Free thought
Where were these people going? They were going to the Holy Land. How
large was it? Twelve thousand square miles--one-fifth the size of
Illinois--a frightful country, covered with rocks and desolation. There
never was a land agent in the city of Chicago that would not have
blushed with shame to have described that land as flowing with milk and
honey. Do you believe that God Almighty ever went into partnership
with hornets? Is it necessary unto salvation? God said to the Jews
"I will send hornets before you, to drive out the Canaanites." How
would a hornet know a Canaanite? Is it possible that God inspired the
hornets--that he granted letters of marque and reprisal to hornets? I
am willing to admit that nothing in the world would be better
calculated to make a man leave his native country than a few hornets
attending strictly to business. God said "Kill the Canaanites slowly."
Why? "Lest the beasts of the field increase upon you." How many Jews
were there? Three millions. Going to a country, how large? Twelve
thousand square miles. But were there nations already in this Holy
Land? Yes, there were seven nations "mightier than the Jews." Say
there would be twenty-one millions when they got there, or twenty-four
millions with themselves. Yet they were told to kill them slowly, lest
the beasts of the field increase upon them. Is there a man in Chicago
that believes that! Then what does he teach it to little children for?
Let him tell the truth.
So the same God went into partnership with snakes. The children of
Israel lived on manna--one account says all the time, and another only
a little while. That is the reason there is a chance for commentaries,
and you can exercise faith. If the book was reasonable everybody could
get to heaven in a moment. But whenever it looks as if it could not be
that way and you believe, you are almost a saint, and when you know it
is not that way and believe, you are a saint. He fed them on manna.
Now manna is very peculiar stuff. It would melt in the sun, and yet
they used to cook it by seething and baking. I would as soon think of
frying snow and boiling icicles. But this manna had other peculiar
qualities. It shrank to an omer, no matter how much they gathered, and
swelled up to an omer, no matter how little they gathered. What a
magnificent thing manna would be for the currency, shrinking and
swelling according to the volume of business! There was not a change
in the bill of fare for forty years, and they knew that God could just
as well give them three square meals a day. They remembered about the
cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks and the onions of Egypt, and
they said: "Our souls abhorreth this light bread." Then this God got
mad--you know cooks are always touchy--and thereupon He sent snakes to
bite the men, women and children. He also sent them quails in wrath
and anger, and while they had the flesh between their teeth, he struck
thousands of them dead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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