Death -- Fiction; Friendship -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women novelists -- Fiction
“Well, I don’t know,” said Miss Howe. “If anyone can’t feel the spirit
it’s written in, the passion of pity—I think it’s the most pitiful thing
I’ve ever read. It made me shiver. That wretched creature, saving and
sparing——” And then to me, for I suppose I showed I was interested—“She
wants to get away, you know, to get back into the country. It’s her
dream. The homesickness——”
“I suppose such a woman could——?” said the Baxter girl.
“I used to argue it with Madala. Madala always said that, with some
people, that animal craving for some special place was like love—a
passion that could waste you. She said that every woman must have some
devouring passion, for a man, or a child, or a place—_every_ woman. And
that for a beaten creature like that, it would be _place_—the homing
instinct of a cat or a bird. And mixed up with it, religion—the vague
shadowy ideal of peace and cleanly beauty—all that the wretched creature
tries to express in her phrase—‘getting out and living quiet’—that
Madala typifies in the word ‘Eden.’ It meant much to Madala. Don’t you
remember that passage towards the end of the book where she meets the
man, the first man, and brings him home with her—and he doesn’t even
recognize her, and she doesn’t even care.” She picked up a bundle of
tattered proofs and turned them over. “Where is it? What an appalling
hand she had!” She stood a moment, reading a page and pursing her lips.
“Oh, well, what’s the use of reading it? We all know it.” She flung it
down.
“Let me see,” I said to the Baxter girl. She drew it towards me. It was
the first proof I’d ever seen. It was corrected till it was difficult to
read. But I made it out at last.
With the closing of the door she dismissed him with one phrase
for ever from her mind—
“And that’s that!”
She had long been accustomed thus to summarize her clients,
dispassionately, as one classes beasts at a show; and she judged
them, not by their clothing or their speech, not by the dark
endured hours of their love or by the ticklish after-moment of
the reckoning, but rather, as she hovered at the door with her
provocative night smile dulled to a business friendliness, by
their manner of leaving her.
Always there was the fever to be gone; but some went furtively,
with cautious, tiptoe feet that set the stairs a-squeak with
mockery. Her smile did not change for the swaggerer who stayed
long and took his luck-kiss twice, but her eyes would harden.
Mean, cheating mean, to kiss again and never pay again! And some
she watched and smiled upon who left her in a brutal silence.
For them she had no resentment, rather the sullenness beneath
her smile reached out to the revulsion of their bearing as to
something welcomed and akin. And some gave back her smile with
kindly words—and those she hated.
But when, after his manner, the man had gone, she had, as
always, her ritual.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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