Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet ToysDiderot, Denis
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Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet Toys
Diderot, Denis
Erotic fiction; Louis XV, King of France, 1710-1774 -- Fiction
"Willing to receive informations from her Toy, I examined it. But the
vorticose creature spoke in terms of such sublime geometry, that I
did not understand one word, nor perhaps did it understand its own
language. It was nothing but right lines, concave surfaces, given
quantities, longitude, latitude, profundity, solids, living forces,
dead forces, cone, cylinder, conic sections, curves, elastic curves,
curve re-entring into itself, with its point conjugated----"
"I pray your highness to excuse me from the rest," cried the favorite
mournfully. "You have a cruel memory, enough to put one to death. It
has raised a swimming in my head, which I dare say I shall not get rid
of these eight days. But was the other so diverting?"
"You shall be the judge," replied Mangogul. "By Brama's great toe, I
have performed a prodigy. I have retain'd its motly gibberish word for
word, tho' it be so thoroughly void of sense and perspicuity, that if
you give me a subtile and critical explanation of it, madam, you will
make me an acceptable present."
"How have you said, prince?" cried Mirzoza. "Let me die, if you have
not stolen that phrase from somebody."
"I can't tell how it has happened," replied Mangogul: "for these two
Toys are the only persons to whom I have given audience this day. The
last, on whom I turned my ring, after a moment's silence, said, as if
addressing an audience,
"'Gentlemen,
"'I shall take the liberty to avoid seeking, to the contempt of my
own reason, a model of thinking and expressing myself. But yet if I
advance any thing new, it shall not be affectation, but the subject
shall have furnished me with it: if I repeat what has been already
said, it will be my own thought, as well as it has been that of
others. Let not irony come to turn this preamble into ridicule, and
accuse me of either not having read, or of having read to no purpose.
A Toy like me is not made for reading, or profiting by its reading, or
foreseeing an objection, or answering it.
"'I shall not debar myself of reflections and ornaments proportioned
to my subject; the rather because in this regard it is extremely
modest, and will not admit of any great quantity or brilliancy. But I
will avoid sinking into those little minute details, which fall to the
share of the barren orator. It would be cause of great grief to me to
be suspected of this defect.
"'After having informed ye, gentlemen, of what you are to expect from
my discoveries and elocution, some few strokes of the pencil will be
sufficient, to sketch you out my character.
"'You know, gentlemen, as well as I, that there are two sorts of Toys:
proud Toys and modest Toys. The former are haughty, and always expect
the place of honour. The latter affect to be courteous, and present
themselves with an air of submission. These two intentions appear
manifestly in the execution of their projects, and determine both
sorts to act according to the genius that guides them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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