In the presence of all these gleams he walked on like a drunken man.
While he went on thus with haggard eye, had he any distinct perception
of what the result of his adventure at D---- might be? Did he hear all
that mysterious buzzing which warns or disturbs the mind at certain
moments of life? Did a voice whisper in his ear that he had just gone
through the solemn hour of his destiny, that no middle way was now left
him, and that if he were not henceforth the best of men he would be the
worst; that he must now ascend higher than the bishop, or sink lower
than the galley-slave; that if he wished to be good he must become an
angel, and if he wished to remain wicked that he must become a monster?
Here we must ask again the question we previously asked, Did he
confusedly receive any shadow of all this into his mind? Assuredly,
as we said, misfortune educates the intellect, still it is doubtful
whether Jean Valjean was in a state to draw the conclusions we have
formed. If these ideas reached him, he had a glimpse of them rather
than saw them, and they only succeeded in throwing him into an
indescribable and almost painful trouble. On leaving that shapeless
black thing which is called the bagne the Bishop had hurt his soul,
in the same way as a too brilliant light would have hurt his eyes on
coming out of darkness. The future life, the possible life, which
presented itself to him, all pure and radiant, filled him with tremor
and anxiety, and he really no longer knew how matters were. Like an owl
that suddenly witnessed a sunrise the convict had been dazzled and, as
it were, blinded by virtue.
One thing which he did not suspect is certain, however, that he was no
longer the same man; all was changed in him, and it was no longer in
his power to get rid of the fact that the Bishop had spoken to him and
taken his hand. While in this mental condition he met Little Gervais,
and robbed him of his two francs: why did he so? Assuredly he could not
explain it. Was it a final, and as it were supreme, effort of the evil
thought he had brought from the bagne, a remainder of impulse, a result
of what is called in Statics "acquired force"? It was so, and was
perhaps also even less than that. Let us say it simply, it was not he
who robbed, it was not the man, but the brute beast that through habit
and instinct stupidly placed its foot on the coin, while the intellect
was struggling with such novel and extraordinary sensations. When the
intellect woke again and saw this brutish action, Jean Valjean recoiled
with agony and uttered a cry of horror. It was a curious phenomenon,
and one only possible in his situation, that, in robbing the boy of
that money, he committed a deed of which he was no longer capable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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