Letters _from a_ Son _to_ His Self-Made Father _By_ CHARLES EUSTACE MERRIMAN BEING _the_ REPLIES _to_ LETTERS _from a_ SELF-MADE MERCHANT _to his_ SON _Illustrations by_ FRED KULZ _London: G. P. Putnam's Sons_ _Boston: Robinson, Luce Company_ _1904_ [Illustration: _The Girl the son Married._] Copyright, 1903 by HENRY G. PAGANI. Entered at STATIONERS HALL. _All Rights Reserved._ _TO_ Mark Twain _A READY-MADE WIT_ _ILLUSTRATIONS._ _"The Son" in College._ _His College Girl._ _"The Son" as a Travelling Salesman._ _His Society Girl._ _"The Son" as Manager of His Father's Pork-packing Establishment._ _The Girl He Marries._ LETTER No. I. _Pierrepont Graham, a newly fledged Freshman at Harvard, writes his father, John, in Chicago, how he and the University are getting along together._ CAMBRIDGE, Oct. 10, 189-- _Dear Father_: I know you will accuse me of lack of the business promptness which is the red label on your brand of success, but I really couldn't answer your letter before. I have been trying to reconcile your maxims of life with the real thing, and I had to get busy and keep so. Reconciliation has not yet come, leastwise not so as you would notice it. I'm glad Ma got back safe to the stock-yards, for when she left Cambridge that morning she didn't quite feel as if she would. I thought she had too large a roll to be travelling around the country with, and convinced her that she ought to leave all but $8 and her return ticket with me. Its a great thing to have a good mother. I have already taken quite a course in art, fitting up my new flat; the fellows go in quite strong for art here, and it really is one of the most expensive courses in the curriculum, for although the photographers make special rates to the students, models come high. You will be glad to hear that I shook the room in College Hall that Ma picked out for me, and by extraordinary luck secured a small apartment of five rooms and bath in one of the big dormitories. The dingy hole in "College" was so horribly noisy that I found it impossible to do my best work. The building was fairly infested with "pluggers," whose grinding made day and night hideous. Here I can work in peace and get a raft of culture from my art studies and other beautiful surroundings. I have had the bill for fitting up forwarded to you. Please settle within thirty days, or I shall be terribly disturbed in my course. Tell Ma not to worry about my over-studying. I have too much inherited common sense for that. It's a wise pig that knows when he is being crammed for John Graham's lightning sausage developer; I've heard the squeal. As for under-study--well, as Kip says, that's another floor to the building.