My letter this morning was interrupted by a message from the War Office, brought per Second-Lieutenant Lake, of the gunners, that I had to go to get some tea at the officer's tea room at ----. Now for enlightenment. You have one son younger than myself, take the first two letters of his name. Then think of the opposite of a woman crying. If you cannot understand this take it to Uncle Ted, or some detective, and you will find out something you are very anxious to know. It is a good conundrum. Tell me if you get it. To resume. At about 10-0 this morning Fuller came in and started lighting fires, cleaning up the room, and cooking my breakfast. At 10-45 five officers came to see me--I was where? Two guesses allowed. Still in bed. 10-46 message from Brigade Headquarters asking for a return. I daresay you have seen a picture taken from the "Bystander" of a scene at Loos during the September offensive. Colonel Fitz Shrapnel in his dug-out with a telephone at Battalion Headquarters, his dug-out being blown to pieces, a shell bursting on the top of it. He received an urgent message from G.H.Q. "Hello, hello! Please let us know, as soon as possible, the number of tins of raspberry jam issued to you last Friday." Just like the staff. They will stand up in the middle of an attack to know when your return of trained farriers will be in. I am afraid I forgot most of my returns. I should get, if I were you, "Fragments from France," by Capt. Bruce Bairnsfather, price 1s.; it is very interesting and amusing and very true. To continue:--From 11-0 till about 12-30 I ate my breakfast and talked to these two, and then shaved, washed, &c., and other such details, dressed and lunched off some potatoes at 2-0, being all I wanted when Lake called for me. We had a pleasant tea in a farm about one mile from here (see riddle), and bought some books and things and so back home. I went out to dinner immediately with another battery in another brigade in our division, and we were just enjoying our coffee when we were disturbed by a divisional test alarm. I rushed back, but was thankful to find we were not included in the amusement. To-day the papers would describe as "Artillery active on the Western front." They have been putting a lot of shrapnel over into the front trenches, and did some damage with one shell to my battalion, who are in at present. They always seem to shell when I am out (touch wood). I am beginning to hope I am a safe mascot against shells. I will write about the last few days in the trenches to-morrow. We had one awful attack on my dug-out--by mice--I hated it. I can sleep through machine gun fire (I mean the noise of it) and shells as long as they are not too close, but mice, ugh! they wake me up at once and I hurl the nearest thing I have at the noise. Fuller came in the other morning to find my dug-out strewn with Very pistol cartridges; I found they were useful not only for sending up lights but also for frightening mice. The rats are more