artificially protracted till we wonder how we have grown old: and,
being kept at an immeasurable distance from the affairs and interest
of public life, our passions, our virtues, and our vices, like those
of early youth, have deeper roots in the imagination than the heart.
I will not say that this is a prevalent feature in the character of
my countrymen; but I have generally observed it among the best and
the worthiest. As to my confidential friends, especially the one I
mentioned at the beginning of this letter, in strict conformity with
the temper which, I fear, I have but imperfectly described, they
spend their lives in giving vent, among themselves, to the suppressed
feelings of ridicule or indignation, of which the religious
institutions of this country are a perennial source to those who
are compelled to receive them as of Divine authority. England has
so far improved me, that I can perceive the folly of this conduct.
I am aware that, instead of indulging this childish gratification
of our anger, we should be preparing ourselves, by a profound
study of our ancient laws and customs, and a perfect acquaintance
with the pure and original doctrines of the Gospel, for any future
opening to reformation in our church and state. But under this
intolerable system of intellectual oppression, we have associated
the idea of Spanish law with despotism, and that of Christianity
with absurdity and persecution. After my return from England I feel
almost involuntarily relapsing into the old habits of my mind. With
my friends, who have never left this country, any endeavour to break
and counteract such habits would be perfectly hopeless. Despondency
drives them into a course of reading and thinking, which leads only
to suppressed contempt and whispered sarcasm. The violence which
they must constantly do to their best feelings, might breed some of
the fiercer passions in breasts less softened with “the milk of human
kindness.” But their hatred of the prevailing practices and opinions
does not extend to persons. Yet I for one must confess, that were I
to act from a first and habitual impulse, without listening to my
better judgment, there is not a saint or a relic in the country I
would not trample under foot, and treat with the utmost indignity. As
things are, however, I content myself with scoffing and railing the
whole day. But I trust that, on a change of circumstances, I should
act more soberly than I feel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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