Letters of Catherine BenincasaCatherine, of Siena, Saint
Religion
Letters of Catherine Benincasa
Catherine, of Siena, Saint
Catherine, of Siena, Saint, 1347-1380 -- Correspondence; Christian women saints -- Italy -- Siena -- Correspondence
Father, father and sweetest son, wonderful mysteries has God wrought, from
the Day of the Circumcision till now; such that no tongue could suffice to
tell them. But let us pass over all that time, and come to Sexagesima
Sunday, when occurred, as I am writing you briefly, those mysteries which
you shall hear: never have I seemed to bear anything like them. For the
pain in my heart was so great, that the tunic which clothed me burst, as
much as I could clasp of it; and I circled around in the chapel like a
person in spasms. He who had held me had surely taken away my life. Then,
Monday coming, in the evening I was constrained to write to Christ on
earth and to three cardinals. So I had myself helped, and went into the
study. And when I had written to Christ on earth, I had no way of writing
more, the pains had so greatly increased in my body. And, waiting a
little, the terror of demons began, in such wise that they stunned me
entirely; raging against me as if I, worm that I am, had been the means of
taking from their hands what they had possessed a long time in Holy
Church. So great was the terror, with the bodily pain, that I wanted to
fly from the study and go to the chapel--as if the study had been the
cause of my pains. So I rose up, and not being able to walk, I leaned on
my son Barduccio. But suddenly I was thrown down; and lying there, it
seemed to me as if my soul were parted from my body; not in such wise as
when it really was parted, for then my soul tasted the good of the
Immortals, receiving that Highest Good together with them; but this now
seemed like a special case, for I did not seem to be in the body, but I
saw my body as if it had been someone else. And my soul, seeing the grief
of him who was with me, wished to know if I had any power over the body,
to say to him: "Son, do not fear"; and I saw that I could not move the
tongue or any member of it, any more than a body quite dead. Then I let
the body stay just as it was; and the intellect was fixed on the abyss of
the Trinity. Memory was full of recollection of the need of Holy Church
and of all the Christian people; and I cried before His Face, and demanded
divine help with assurance, offering to Him my desires, and constraining
Him by the Blood of the Lamb and the pains that had been borne. And so
eager was the demand that it seemed to me sure that He would not deny that
petition. Then I asked for all you others, praying Him that He would
fulfil in you His will and my desires. Then I asked that He would save me
from eternal condemnation. And while I stayed thus for a very long time,
so that the Family was mourning me as dead, at this point all the terror
of the demons was gone away. Then the Presence of the Humble Lamb came
before my soul, saying: "Fear not: for I will fulfil thy desires, and
those of My other servants. I will that thou see that I am a good master,
who plays the potter, unmaking and remaking vessels as His pleasure is.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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