Letters of Major Jack Downing, of the Downingville MilitiaSmith, Seba
History
Letters of Major Jack Downing, of the Downingville Militia
Smith, Seba
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Caricatures and cartoons; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Humor
There's not much else that's new this week. The roads have been in an
impassabul condishin for some time, and unless some feller kin invent a
patent rite for settin' them up edge ways to drene, I don't believe
they'll be scasely settled before the summer solstis. I telled Linkin I
never seed such mud in my born days. "Wal," ses he, "let me tell you a
story about mud. Virginny can't hold a kandel to Illinoy in that
respect. One time a man was travellin' 'long the road jest a little
nor-east of Springfield, wen he found a hat layin' in the mud, rite in
the middel of the road. He stepped out keerful to get it, and he was
all struck up a heep to find a man's hed under it, and he in the mud
clean up to his very chin. 'Darn my pectur, nabor, if you ain't in a
fix. Cum, let me git hold of you, and I'll help pull you out.' 'No!
No!' sed the feller in the mud, spittin' out the dirty water; 'No! No!
I don't want your help--much ableeged to you--for I've got a good hoss
under me, and he'll fetch me out as sure as preachin!'"
"Wal," ses I, "Kernel, I shan't try to match that story to-day." The
truth is, that I didn't feel like it. I've bin kinder under the wether
since the bawl. Washington is a terrible place for nager and fever, and
all kinds of billyus kemplantes. One of the President's leetle shavers
has bin dangrus sick for sum daze, but I hope he'll rekiver.
I got yuere letter tellin' me that sum of yuere subscriburs wanted me
to rite a letter every week for yuere paper. Wal, I will, if I kin, but
I can't promis sartin. You see an old man nigh on eighty years old
don't feel jest limber enuf to rite at any and all times, but wenever I
hevn't got the lumbager or rumatiz, and my ideas ain't froze up, you'll
heer from me, once in two weeks, and perhaps oftener, wen the weather
gets more stedy.
Your friend,
MAJER JACK DOWNING.
LETTER III.
_The Major has an Attack of the Ague and Fever--Begins to get the
Hang of Matters at Washington--Mr. Lincoln's Improvement in "Military
Nollege"--Studying "Stratygims" for Gen. McClellan--The Major Suggests
a Difficulty--Mr. Stanton Called on--The Negroes at Port Royal--"The
Nigger Teachin Fever"--Deacon Jenkins' Daughter goes to Port Royal to
Teach the Negroes._
WASHINGTON, March 1st, 1862.
_To the Editurs of The Cawcashin:_
I've had a terribul fit of the ager sence I writ yu last, and one time
I thought it was about "nip and go tuck" wether the ager or natur wud
whip, but I've got a strong constetushin and it cum out best, as it
allers has so far in life. Linkin, too, has been kinder under the
wether. The loss of his little boy affected him terribully. Ef it
hadn't ben for the good noose and the Union victories I don't know how
we could have got along. But we are all gettin' better very fast now,
and things begin to look brighter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account