"Wal," ses Linkin, "what am I to do? There ain't no doubt that my party are all aunty-slavery, and a good menny of 'em out and out immediate Abolishinists. They are a pullin me like all possessed. They've got hold of my feet, my toes, my cote tale, my trowsers, and pullin away as ef they ment to rip every rag of clothin off me, and I don't feel sure but they'll pull my legs off my boddy. I am holdin on as hard as I kin, but I feel as ef my hold was slippin. Now, what on arth am I to do?" "Wal," ses I, "Kernel, there's nothin like getten a fresh hold wen you feel that you are slippin. So jest spit on your hands, as the sailyers do, and take a new hold." "Now, Majer," says Linkin, "that reminds me of a story. Some Irishmen were once diggin a well, and by sum means the rope on the windless broke, and the bucket went down to the bottom. How to get it was the questshin. After plannin and thinkin for some time, Paddy O'Brien, who was the boss, he ses to Teddy O'Flanagan, ses he, 'I will take hold of the windless with my hands, and Teddy, you take hold of my legs, and let Patrick take hold of Teddy's legs, and so on, until we can git down to the bucket and rache it up.' So they all went at it, but it warnt long before Paddy found that the heft was too grate for him, an he felt that his hold on the windless was slippin. So he sung out tu Teddy, who was below him, ses he, 'Teddy, me boy, hould fast there till I spit on me hands,' an as he let go tu spit on his hands, down the hull party went tu the bottom of the well. Now," ses Linkin, ses he, "that would be jest the way with me. Ef I let go to spit on me hands, down my hull party will go, and no one will ever see it agin." "Wal," ses I, "Kernel, ef you do go down in that way you will be _on top_!" "That's a fact," ses Linkin. "I didn't think of that, but then, who would want tu be on the top of _such_ a party! You see, ef the party had any timber in it that you could use tu make another out of, there would be sum prospec ahed. But ye see thar aint. The stuff is cross-grained and knotty, and a good deal of it mity rotten. Ef I could split it about half in two, so as tu weld one piece on tu the Demmycratic party, I would do that. But you can't split it any more than you kin a pepperage log. I know sumthin about splittin, and ef any man could do it I could. No, Majer, ef my party goes tu pieces at all, it will brake up intu a thousand splinters, jest like a chesnut tree wen it is struck by lightnin."