Who has taught you this peculiarity, which you dare to tell me you did
not know? Was it your Greek teacher, or your German teacher? Or am I to
believe that you learned by yourself to write German script, as you did
the Greek? Another article of faith to add to your aversion to mirrors!
You ought to cultivate a German flower called _die Aufrichtigkeit_.
I have just written the word _End_ at the close of a piece of very
learned writing, which I composed in the worst possible humour; it
remains to be seen whether this word does not signify dulness and
prolixity. However, now that it is finished, I feel relieved of a
burden and much happier, which explains my blandness and amiability
towards you; otherwise I should have told you some sharp truths about
yourself.
You should see me, if it were only to escape from the atmosphere of
flattery in which you live. We must go some day to the Museum to see the
Italian paintings. It would be a compensation for the journey you failed
to take, and to have me for a guide is an inestimable privilege. This is
not a condition on which I shall give you my Etruscan stone. Say how,
and you shall have it.
XXVIII
PARIS, _November, 1842_.
M. de Montrond says that we should beware of our first impulses,
because they are usually trustworthy. One would suppose that you had
given much consideration to this beautiful maxim, for you practise it
with rare constancy. When a good resolution occurs to you, you postpone
it indefinitely. If I were at Civita Vecchia I should seek among the
gems of my good friend Bucci for some Etruscan Minerva; it would be the
most appropriate seal for you. Meanwhile, my potter is all ready, and I
still say, like Leonidas: Μολὡν λαβἑ. I think I shall keep it for some
time still, until the eve of your departure.
I must tell you that I am feeling much better, and am less a prey to the
blue devils. I find pleasure even in my work, which I have not done for
a long time. I am forming great plans for the winter, which is a sign of
better spirits. This is why I write so cheerfully, for if I had written
immediately after receiving your German letter I should have criticised
your faults in my most severe style. You will not be deprived of this
even now, because if I see the world to-day through rose-coloured
glasses, that is all the more reason why they will soon reflect a darker
hue.
I should be glad to know what you are doing, and how you occupy your
time. When I see you so learned in Greek and in German, I conclude that
you are very lonely at ..., and that you are spending your life among
your books, with some wise professors to explain them to you. Yet I
wonder whether it is not otherwise in Paris, and I fancy the days there
passed in amusements of another kind. If I had not lived so long in the
strictest solitude, I should know all about your actions and movements,
and the reports that I should hear would give me an impression of you
very unlike the one I receive from your letters.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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