Letters to His Son, 1748: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a GentlemanChesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
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Letters to His Son, 1748: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman
Chesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
Conduct of life
butterflies; shells, insects, etc., are the subjects of their most
serious researches. They contemplate the dress, not the characters of the
company they keep. They attend more to the decorations of a play than the
sense of it; and to the ceremonies of a court more than to its politics.
Such an employment of time is an absolute loss of it. You have now, at
most, three years to employ either well or ill; for, as I have often told
you, you will be all your life what you shall be three years hence. For
God's sake then reflect. Will you throw this time away either in
laziness, or in trifles? Or will you not rather employ every moment of it
in a manner that must so soon reward you with so much pleasure, figure,
and character? I cannot, I will not doubt of your choice. Read only
useful books; and never quit a subject till you are thoroughly master of
it, but read and inquire on till then. When you are in company, bring the
conversation to some useful subject, but 'a portee' of that company.
Points of history, matters of literature, the customs of particular
countries, the several orders of knighthood, as Teutonic, Maltese, etc.,
are surely better subjects of conversation, than the weather, dress, or
fiddle-faddle stories, that carry no information along with them. The
characters of kings and great men are only to be learned in conversation;
for they are never fairly written during their lives. This, therefore, is
an entertaining and instructive subject of conversation, and will
likewise give you an opportunity of observing how very differently
characters are given, from the different passions and views of those who
give them. Never be ashamed nor afraid of asking questions: for if they
lead to information, and if you accompany them with some excuse, you will
never be reckoned an impertinent or rude questioner. All those things, in
the common course of life, depend entirely upon the manner; and, in that
respect, the vulgar saying is true, 'That one man can better steal a
horse, than another look over the hedge.' There are few things that may
not be said, in some manner or other; either in a seeming confidence, or
a genteel irony, or introduced with wit; and one great part of the
knowledge of the world consists in knowing when and where to make use of
these different manners. The graces of the person, the countenance, and
the way of speaking, contribute so much to this, that I am convinced, the
very same thing, said by a genteel person in an engaging way, and
GRACEFULLY and distinctly spoken, would please, which would shock, if
MUTTERED out by an awkward figure, with a sullen, serious countenance.
The poets always represent Venus as attended by the three Graces, to
intimate that even beauty will not do without: I think they should have
given Minerva three also; for without them, I am sure learning is very
unattractive. Invoke them, then, DISTINCTLY, to accompany all your words
and motions. Adieu.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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