Letters to His Son, 1749: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman — John Shaqi
Letters to His Son, 1749: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a GentlemanChesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
General
Letters to His Son, 1749: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman
Chesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
Conduct of life
DEAR BOY: This letter will, I believe, still find you at Venice in all
the dissipation of masquerades, ridottos, operas, etc. With all my heart;
they are decent evening's amusements, and very properly succeed that
serious application to which I am sure you devote your mornings. There
are liberal and illiberal pleasures as well as liberal and illiberal
arts: There are some pleasures that degrade a gentleman as much as some
trades could do. Sottish drinking, indiscriminate gluttony, driving
coaches, rustic sports, such as fox-chases, horse-races, etc., are in my
opinion infinitely below the honest and industrious profession of a
tailor and a shoemaker, which are said to 'deroger'.
As you are now in a musical country, where singing, fiddling, and piping,
are not only the common topics of conversation, but almost the principal
objects of attention, I cannot help cautioning you against giving in to
those (I will call them illiberal) pleasures (though music is commonly
reckoned one of the liberal arts) to the degree that most of your
countrymen do, when they travel in Italy. If you love music, hear it; go
to operas, concerts, and pay fiddlers to play to you; but I insist upon
your neither piping nor fiddling yourself. It puts a gentleman in a very
frivolous, contemptible light; brings him into a great deal of bad
company; and takes up a great deal of time, which might be much better
employed. Few things would mortify me more, than to see you bearing a
part in a concert, with a fiddle under your chin, or a pipe in your
mouth.
I have had a great deal of conversation with Comte du Perron and Comte
Lascaris upon your subject: and I will tell you, very truly, what Comte
du Perron (who is, in my opinion, a very pretty man) said of you: 'Il a
de l'esprit, un savoir peu commun a son age, une grande vivacite, et
quand il aura pris des manieres il sera parfait; car il faut avouer qu'il
sent encore le college; mars cela viendra'. I was very glad to hear, from
one whom I think so good a judge, that you wanted nothing but 'des
manieres', which I am convinced you will now soon acquire, in the company
which henceforward you are likely to keep. But I must add, too, that if
you should not acquire them, all the rest will be of little use to you.
By 'manieres', I do not mean bare common civility; everybody must have
that who would not be kicked out of company; but I mean engaging,
insinuating, shining manners; distinguished politeness, an almost
irresistible address; a superior gracefulness in all you say and do. It
is this alone that can give all your other talents their full lustre and
value; and, consequently, it is this which should now be thy principal
object of your attention. Observe minutely, wherever you go, the allowed
and established models of good-breeding, and form yourself upon them.
Whatever pleases you most in others, will infallibly please others in
you. I have often repeated this to you; now is your time of putting it in
practice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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