Letters to His Son, 1750: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a GentlemanChesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
General
Letters to His Son, 1750: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman
Chesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
Conduct of life
There is a very great difference between the purity of character, which I
so earnestly recommend to you, and the stoical gravity and austerity of
character, which I do by no means recommend to you. At your age, I would
no more wish you to be a Cato than a Clodius. Be, and be reckoned, a man
of pleasure as well as a man of business. Enjoy this happy and giddy time
of your life; shine in the pleasures, and in the company of people of
your own age. This is all to be done, and indeed only can be done,
without the least taint to the purity of your moral character; for those
mistaken young fellows, who think to shine by an impious or immoral
licentiousness, shine only from their stinking, like corrupted flesh, in
the dark. Without this purity, you can have no dignity of character; and
without dignity of character it is impossible to rise in the world. You
must be respectable, if you will be respected. I have known people
slattern away their character, without really polluting it; the
consequence of which has been, that they have become innocently
contemptible; their merit has been dimmed, their pretensions unregarded,
and all their views defeated. Character must be kept bright, as well as
clean. Content yourself with mediocrity in nothing. In purity of
character and in politeness of manners labor to excel all, if you wish to
equal many. Adieu.
LETTER CI
LONDON, January 11, O. S. 1750
MY DEAR FRIEND: Yesterday I received a letter from Mr. Harte, of the 31st
December, N. S., which I will answer soon; and for which I desire you to
return him my thanks now. He tells me two things that give me great
satisfaction: one is that there are very few English at Rome; the other
is, that you frequent the best foreign companies. This last is a very
good symptom; for a man of sense is never desirous to frequent those
companies, where he is not desirous to please, or where he finds that he
displeases; it will not be expected in those companies, that, at your
age, you should have the 'Garbo', the 'Disinvoltura', and the
'Leggiadria' of a man of five-and-twenty, who has been long used to keep
the best companies; and therefore do not be discouraged, and think
yourself either slighted or laughed at, because you see others, older and
more used to the world, easier, more familiar, and consequently rather
better received in those companies than yourself. In time your turn will
come; and if you do but show an inclination, a desire to please, though
you should be embarrassed or even err in the means, which must
necessarily happen to you at first, yet the will (to use a vulgar
expression) will be taken for the deed; and people, instead of laughing
at you, will be glad to instruct you. Good sense can only give you the
great outlines of good-breeding; but observation and usage can alone give
you the delicate touches, and the fine coloring. You will naturally
endeavor to show the utmost respect to people of certain ranks and
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