Letters to His Son, 1752: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a GentlemanChesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
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Letters to His Son, 1752: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman
Chesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
Conduct of life
kept clear of all of these errors in the education which I have given
you. No weaknesses of my own have warped it, no parsimony has starved it,
no rigor has deformed it. Sound and extensive learning was the foundation
which I meant to lay--I have laid it; but that alone, I knew, would by no
means be sufficient: the ornamental, the showish, the pleasing
superstructure was to be begun. In that view, I threw you into the great
world, entirely your own master, at an age when others either guzzle at
the university, or are sent abroad in servitude to some awkward, pedantic
Scotch governor. This was to put you in the way, and the only way of
acquiring those manners, that address, and those graces, which
exclusively distinguish people of fashion; and without which all moral
virtues, and all acquired learning, are of no sort of use in the courts
and 'le beau monde': on the contrary, I am not sure if they are not an
hindrance. They are feared and disliked in those places, as too severe,
if not smoothed and introduced by the graces; but of these graces, of
this necessary 'beau vernis', it seems there are still 'quelque couches
qui manquent'. Now, pray let me ask you, coolly and seriously, 'pourquoi
ces couches manquent-elles'? For you may as easily take them, as you may
wear more or less powder in your hair, more or less lace upon your coat.
I can therefore account for your wanting them no other way in the world,
than from your not being yet convinced of their full value. You have
heard some English bucks say, "Damn these finical outlandish airs, give
me a manly, resolute manner. They make a rout with their graces, and talk
like a parcel of dancing-masters, and dress like a parcel of fops: one
good Englishman will beat three of them." But let your own observation
undeceive you of these prejudices. I will give you one instance only,
instead of an hundred that I could give you, of a very shining fortune
and figure, raised upon no other foundation whatsoever, than that of
address, manners, and graces. Between you and me (for this example must
go no further), what do you think made our friend, Lord A----e, Colonel
of a regiment of guards, Governor of Virginia, Groom of the Stole, and
Ambassador to Paris; amounting in all to sixteen or seventeen thousand
pounds a year? Was it his birth? No, a Dutch gentleman only. Was it his
estate? No, he had none. Was it his learning, his parts, his political
abilities and application? You can answer these questions as easily, and
as soon, as I can ask them. What was it then? Many people wondered, but I
do not; for I know, and will tell you. It was his air, his address, his
manners, and his graces. He pleased, and by pleasing he became a
favorite; and by becoming a favorite became all that he has been since.
Show me any one instance, where intrinsic worth and merit, unassisted by
exterior accomplishments, have raised any man so high. You know the Due
de Richelieu, now 'Marechal, Cordon bleu, Gentilhomme de la Chambre',
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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