Letters to His Son, Complete: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a GentlemanChesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
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Letters to His Son, Complete: On the Fine Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman
Chesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of
Conduct of life
SIR: In order that we may, reciprocally, keep up our French, which, for
want of practice, we might forget; you will permit me to have the honor
of assuring you of my respects in that language: and be so good to answer
me in the same. Not that I am apprehensive of your forgetting to speak
French: since it is probable that two-thirds of our daily prattle is in
that language; and because, if you leave off writing French, you may
perhaps neglect that grammatical purity, and accurate orthography, which,
in other languages, you excel in; and really, even in French, it is
better to write well than ill. However, as this is a language very proper
for sprightly, gay subjects, I shall conform to that, and reserve those
which are serious for English. I shall not therefore mention to you, at
present, your Greek or Latin, your study of the Law of Nature, or the Law
of Nations, the Rights of People, or of Individuals; but rather discuss
the subject of your Amusements and Pleasures; for, to say the truth, one
must have some. May I be permitted to inquire of what nature yours are?
Do they consist in little commercial play at cards in good company? are
they little agreeable suppers, at which cheerfulness and decency are
united? or, do you pay court to some fair one, who requires such
attentions as may be of use in contributing to polish you? Make me your
confidant upon this subject; you shall not find a severe censor: on the
contrary, I wish to obtain the employment of minister to your pleasures:
I will point them out, and even contribute to them.
Many young people adopt pleasures, for which they have not the least
taste, only because they are called by that name. They often mistake so
totally, as to imagine that debauchery is pleasure. You must allow that
drunkenness, which is equally destructive to body and mind, is a fine
pleasure. Gaming, that draws you into a thousand scrapes, leaves you
penniless, and gives you the air and manners of an outrageous madman, is
another most exquisite pleasure; is it not? As to running after women,
the consequences of that vice are only the loss of one’s nose, the total
destruction of health, and, not unfrequently, the being run through the
body.
These, you see, are all trifles; yet this is the catalogue of pleasures
of most of those young people, who never reflecting themselves, adopt,
indiscriminately, what others choose to call by the seducing name of
pleasure. I am thoroughly persuaded you will not fall into such errors;
and that, in the choice of your amusements, you will be directed by
reason, and a discerning taste. The true pleasures of a gentleman are
those of the table, but within the bound of moderation; good company,
that is to say, people of merit; moderate play, which amuses, without any
interested views; and sprightly gallant conversations with women of
fashion and sense.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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