Lewis escaped from none of those monotonous but charming problems which
arise between two people placed in direct contact by fate. He was first
conscious of that local anæsthesia which extends itself to every
thought but the one that is absorbing us, on discovering that he could
not get up any interest in the purchase of the mine. Whatever subject he
touched on, he lost himself in reverie. He was thinking of this stranger
woman. She had doubtless hired the car for lack of something to do. What
was she doing all alone in this country? Where did she spend her
evenings? He had already forgotten her features. Her image seemed to
fall with the night: he rather doubted whether it would rise again with
the sun next morning. He had lost it for ever. He tried very hard to
recall it. Suddenly he remembered one perfect and illuminating detail
which had never struck him at the time: her hand with its nails quite
violet from their long immersion in cold water. A short hand in which
common sense triumphed over dreaminess; the thumb was large, in itself
rather a rare thing amongst women, and full of common sense; but she had
tapering fingers which were always close together. There was a general
effect of loyalty, fidelity, quickness and clearness of intelligence
which, on reflection, won him completely. A useful hand. A
seventeenth-century hand. He had held so many others, sensuously
modelled, too exquisite to be followed in all their lines, dimpled, full
of whims, hands which grow damp under the influence of music or
pleasure.
To see her again. To touch that hand at last.... To distract himself he
began to compose a song in the German manner:
I met a mermaid swimming in the sea.
And the taste of seaweed lingers in my mouth.
He suddenly realized with a pang of regret that this evening no one was
waiting for him anywhere. He thought of Madame Magnac in Paris. The
pleasant life he led seemed to him from this distance to be full of
privations. He pictured his existence as having been terribly hard
hitherto; a womanless childhood and an orphaned youth; he began to pity
himself. He hoped that happier days were in store for him. He decided to
make more friends; he managed his life extremely well and had always
kept away from big dinner parties, definite office hours, servant
troubles, professional conversationalists, marriage, scenes with
mistresses and all other things that might prey upon his liberty, the
luxury tax of snobbishness, the money troubles of his friends, children,
the disdain of the haughty, the envy of his inferiors, in fact
everything that spoils our daily life. But all this was negative and
unsatisfying.
Night began to fall, accompanied by music coming from no one knew where;
a shutter banged against a wall, rattling like a skeleton; the ancient
clocks beat out one by one the dangerous weapons of the iron hours.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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