But, recurring to Lamb and his set, what impossible, incomprehensible
characters it included: Elton Hammond, for instance, a contemporary if
not an associate. He inherited his father's tea business in Milk Street.
In order, he said, to set an example to the world how a business should
be carried on, and that he might not be interfered with in his plans, he
turned off the clerks and every servant in the establishment, which soon
wound up the business altogether. For a while he had no other society
than a little child, which he taught its letters, and a mouse, that fed
out of his hands. He journalized his food, his sleep, his dreams. He had
a conviction that he was to have been, and ought to have been, the
greatest of men, but was conscious in fact that he was not. The reason
assigned by him for putting an end to his life was that he could not
condescend to live without fulfilling his proper vocation. He said to
one of his friends that he was on the point of making a discovery which
would put an end to physical and moral evil in the world. He quarreled
with another of his friends for not being willing to join him in
carrying a heavy box through the streets of London for a poor woman. He
refused a private secretaryship to Rough, a colonial chief justice, on
the ground of the obligation involved to tell a lie and write a lie
every day, subscribing himself the humble servant of people he did not
serve, and toward whom he felt no humility. Here are a few things he
wrote: "When I was about eight or ten I promised marriage to a wrinkled
cook we had, aged about sixty-five. I was convinced of the
insignificance of beauty, but really felt some considerable ease at
hearing of her death, about four years after, when I began to repent of
my vow."... "I always said that I would do anything to make another
happy, and told a boy I would give him a shilling if it would make him
happy; he said it would, so I gave it to him. It is not to be wondered
at that I had plenty of such applications, and soon emptied my purse. It
is true I rather grudged the money, because the boys laughed rather more
than I wished them. But it would have been inconsistent to have appeared
dissatisfied. Some of them were generous enough to return the money, and
I was prudent enough to take it, though I declared that if it would make
them happy I should be sorry to have it back."... "It is not pain, it is
not death, that I dread, it is the hatred of a man; there is something
in it so shocking that I would rather submit to any injury than incur or
increase the hatred of a man by revenging it."... "The chief
philosophical value of my papers I conceive to be that they record
something of a mind that was very near taking a station far above all
that have hitherto appeared in the world."... "It is provoking that the
secret of rendering man perfect in wisdom, power, virtue, and happiness,
should die with me. I never till this moment doubted that some other
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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