"Why, as to that, he may be a good sea lord, but take it from me, he is a very bad landlord." DIBBLE DAVIS Dibble Davis, one of Foote's butts-in-ordinary, dining with him one day at North-end, observed that "well as he loved porter, he could never drink it without a head." "That must be a mistake, Dibble," returned his host, "as you have done so to my knowledge alone these twenty years." AN EXTRAORDINARY CASE Being at the levee of Lord Townsend, when that nobleman was Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, he thought he saw a person in his Excellency's suite whom he had known to have lived many years a life of expediency in London. To convince himself of the fact, he asked his Excellency who it was. "That is Mr. T----, one of my gentlemen at large," was the answer. "Do you know him?" "Oh, yes! perfectly well," said Foote, "and what your Excellency tells me is doubly extraordinary: first, that he is a gentleman; and next, that he is at large." MUTABILITY OF THE WORLD Being at dinner in a mixed company soon after the bankruptcy of one friend and the death of another, the conversation naturally turned on the mutability of the world. "Can you account for this?" said S----, a master builder, who happened to sit next to Foote. "Why, not very clearly," said the other; "except we could suppose the world was built by contract." AN APPROPRIATE MOTTO During one of Foote's trips to Dublin, he was much solicited by a silly young man of fashion to assist him in a miscellany of poems and essays which he was about to publish; but when he asked to see the manuscript, the other told him "that at present he had only conceived the different subjects, but had put none of them to paper." "Oh! if that be the state of the case," replied Foote, "I will give you a motto from Milton for the work in its present state: 'Things unattempted yet in prose or rhyme.'" REAL FRIENDSHIP A young gentleman, making an apology to his father for coming late to dinner, said "that he had been visiting a poor friend of his in St. George's Fields." "Ah! a pretty kind of friend indeed," says the father, "to keep us waiting for dinner in this manner." "Aye, and for the best kind, too," said Foote: "as you know, my dear sir, a friend in need is a friend indeed." ANECDOTE OF AN AUTHOR An author was boasting that as a reviewer he had the power of distributing literary reputations as he liked. "Take care," said Foote, "you are not too prodigal of that, or you may leave none for yourself." DR. BLAIR When Foote first heard of Dr. Blair's writing 'Notes on Ossian' (a work the reality of which has always been much doubted), he observed, "The publishers ought to allow a great discount to the purchaser, as the notes required such a stretch of credit." ADVICE TO A DRAMATIC WRITER