III. There should be equality in friendship.--Equality of station, of
circumstances, of position. It does not do to lay down a hard and fast
line as to this. For instance, in a "young men's guild" men of all
stations and social conditions meet on an equality. They are a
brotherhood bound together by ties of a very close description. To
them this rule does not apply. Among members of such an association, a
young man may always fitly find a friend. It is friendships formed
outside such a circle, and in general society, that we have in view;
and, in regard to such society, we are probably not far wrong in saying
that we do well to choose our intimate friends from those who are
neither much above us nor beneath us. If a man is poor, and chooses as
a friend one who is rich, the chances are either that he becomes a
toady and a mere "hanger-on," or that he is made to feel his
inferiority. Young men in this way have been led into expenses which
they could not afford, and into society that did them harm, and into
debts sometimes that they could not pay. Making friends of those
beneath us is often equally a mistake. We come to look upon them with
patronizing affability. "It is well enough to talk of our humble
friends, but they are too often like poor relations. We accept their
services, and think that a mere 'thank you,' a nod, a beck, or a smile
is sufficient recompense." [2] Either to become a toady or a patron is
destructive of true friendship. We should be able to meet on the same
platform, and join hands as brothers, having the same feelings, the
same wants, the same aspirations. We should be courteous to the man
above us, and civil to the man beneath us; but if we value our
independence and manhood we will not try to make a friend of either.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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