England -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Repression (Psychology) -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
Her father smiled at him. “You must give us time.”
He would never give it or take it. You could see him tearing at things
in his impatience, to know them, to make them give themselves up to him
at once. He came rushing to give himself up, all in a minute, to make
himself known.
“It isn’t fair,” he said. “I know you so much better than you know me.
Priscilla’s always talking about you. But you don’t know anything about
_me_.”
“No. We’ve got all the excitement.”
“And the risk, sir.”
“And, of course, the risk.” He liked him.
She could talk to Robin Lethbridge as she couldn’t talk to Connie
Hancock’s young men. She wasn’t afraid of what he was thinking. She was
safe with him, he belonged to Priscilla Heaven. He liked her because
he loved Priscilla; but he wanted her to like him, not because of
Priscilla, but for himself.
She talked about Priscilla: “I never saw anybody so loving. It used to
frighten me; because you can hurt her so easily.”
“Yes. Poor little Prissie, she’s very vulnerable,” he said.
When Priscilla came to stay it was almost painful. Her eyes clung to
him, and wouldn’t let him go. If he left the room she was restless,
unhappy till he came back. She went out for long walks with him and
returned silent, with a tired, beaten look. She would lie on the sofa,
and he would hang over her, gazing at her with strained, unhappy eyes.
After she had gone he kept on coming more than ever, and he stayed
overnight. Harriett had to walk with him now. He wanted to talk, to talk
about himself, endlessly.
When she looked in the glass she saw a face she didn’t know:
bright-eyed, flushed, pretty. The little arrogant lift had gone. As if
it had been somebody else’s face she asked herself, in wonder, without
rancour, why nobody had ever cared for it. Why? Why? She could see her
father looking at her, intent, as if he wondered. And one day her mother
said, “Do you think you ought to see so much of Robin? Do you think it’s
quite fair to Prissie?”
“Oh--_Mamma!_ ... I wouldn’t. I haven’t----”
“I know. You couldn’t if you would, Hatty. You would always behave
beautifully. But are you so sure about Robin?”
“Oh, he _couldn’t_ care for _anybody_ but Prissie. It’s only because
he’s so safe with me, because he knows I don’t and he doesn’t----.”
The wedding day was fixed for July. After all, they were going to risk
it. By the middle of June the wedding presents began to come in.
Harriett and Robin Lethbridge were walking up Black’s Lane. The hedges
were a white bridal froth of cow’s parsley. Every now and then she
swerved aside to pick the red campion.
He spoke suddenly. “Do you know what a dear little face you have, Hatty?
It’s so clear and still and it behaves so beautifully.”
“Does it?”
She thought of Prissie’s face, dark and restless, never clear, never
still.
“You’re not a bit like what I expected. Prissie doesn’t know what you
are. You don’t know yourself.”
“I know what _she_ is.”
His mouth’s uneven quiver beat in and out like a pulse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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