England -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Repression (Psychology) -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
“He’s no business to behave as if it was Papa’s fault,” said Harriett.
She had no patience with the odious little man. She thought of her
father’s face, her father’s body, straight and calm, and his soul so far
above that mean trouble of Mr. Hancock’s, that vulgar shame.
Yet inside him he fretted. And, suddenly, he began to sink. He turned
faint after the least exertion and had to leave off going to Mr.
Hichens. And by the spring of eighteen eighty he was upstairs in his
room, too ill to be moved. That was just after Mr. Hichens had bought
the house and wanted to come into it. He lay, patient, in the big white
bed, smiling his faint, amused smile when he thought of Mr. Hichens.
It was awful to Harriett that her father should be ill, lying there
at their mercy. She couldn’t get over her sense of his parenthood, his
authority. When he was obstinate, and insisted on exerting himself, she
gave in. She was a bad nurse, because she couldn’t set herself against
his will. And when she had him under her hands to strip and wash him,
she felt that she was doing something outrageous and impious; she set
about it with a flaming face and fumbling hands. “Your mother does it
better,” he said gently. But she could not get her mother’s feeling of
him as a helpless, dependent thing.
Mr. Hichens called every week to inquire. “Poor man, he wants to know
when he can have his house. Why _will_ he always come on my good days?
He isn’t giving himself a chance.”
He still had good days, days when he could be helped out of bed to sit
in his chair. “This sort of game may go on for ever,” he said. He began
to worry seriously about keeping Mr. Hichens out of his house. “It isn’t
decent of me. It isn’t decent.”
Harriett was ill with the strain of it. She had to go away for a
fortnight with Lizzie Pierce, and Sarah Barmby stayed with her mother.
Mrs. Barmby had died the year before. When Harriett got back her father
was making plans for his removal.
“Why have you all made up your minds that it’ll kill me to remove me? It
won’t. The men can take everything out but me and my bed and that chair.
And when they’ve got all the things into the other house they can come
back for the chair and me. And I can sit in the chair while they’re
bringing the bed. It’s quite simple. It only wants a little system.”
Then, while they wondered whether they might risk it, he got worse. He
lay propped up, rigid, his arms stretched out by his side, afraid to
lift a hand because of the violent movements of his heart. His face had
a patient, expectant look, as if he waited for them to do something.
They couldn’t do anything. There would be no more rallies. He might die
any day now, the doctor said.
“He may die any minute. I certainly don’t expect him to live through the
night.”
Harriett followed her mother back into the room. He was sitting up in
his attitude of rigid expectancy; no movement but the quivering of his
night-shirt above his heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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