I was very ill, yet for hours at a time I had no friendly voice to cheer
me, to proffer me a drink of cold water, or to attend to the poor babe;
and worse, still worse, there was no one to help that pale, marble
child, who lay so cold and still, with half-closed violet eye, as if
death had already chilled her young heart in his iron grasp.
There was not a breath of air in our close, burning bed-closet; and
the weather was sultry beyond all that I have since experienced. How I
wished that I could be transported to an hospital at home, to enjoy the
common care that in such places is bestowed upon the sick! Bitter tears
flowed continually from my eyes over those young children. I had asked
of Heaven a son, and there he lay helpless by the side of his almost
equally helpless mother, who could not lift him up in her arms, or still
his cries; while the pale, fair angel, with her golden curls, who had
lately been the admiration of all who saw her, no longer recognized
my voice, or was conscious of my presence. I felt that I could almost
resign the long and eagerly hoped-for son, to win one more smile from
that sweet, suffering creature. Often did I weep myself to sleep, and
wake to weep again with renewed anguish.
And my poor little Katie, herself under three years of age, how
patiently she bore the loss of my care, and every comfort! How earnestly
the dear thing strove to help me! She would sit on my sick-bed, and hold
my hand, and ask me to look at her and speak to her; would inquire why
Addie slept so long, and when she would awake again. Those innocent
questions went like arrows to my heart. Lieutenant ----, the husband of
my dear Emilia, at length heard of my situation. His inestimable wife
was from home, nursing her sick mother; but he sent his maid-servant
up every day for a couple of hours, and the kind girl despatched a
messenger nine miles through the woods to Dummer, to fetch her younger
sister, a child of twelve ears old.
Oh, how grateful I felt for these signal mercies! for my situation for
nearly a week was one of the most pitiable that could be imagined. The
sickness was so prevalent that help was not to be obtained for money;
and without the assistance of that little girl, young as she was, it is
more than probable that neither myself nor my children would ever have
risen from that bed of sickness.
The conduct of our man Jacob, during this trying period, was marked with
the greatest kindness and consideration. On the days that his master was
confined to his bed with the fever, he used to place a vessel of cold
water and a cup by his bedside, and then put his honest English face
in at my door to know if he could make a cup of tea, or toast a bit of
bread for the mistress, before he went into the field.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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