My dear mother was now as pale as death, and silent, for she saw that
the priest was awfully enraged; for, although he feigned to smile, his
smile was similar to that of the hyena when digging his prey out of
the grave. The priest's dark and villainous visage had the effect of
confirming in my mother's mind all the truth regarding the plot to
enslave me for life, and secure all my father's estate to the pockets
of the priests. The confessor was now terribly mad, for two obvious
reasons: one was because he was not received by us with our usual
cordiality and blind affection; the other, because, by the king's
pardon, I was not under the necessity to sacrifice my liberty and
happiness for life to save my father from prison; and what tormented him
the most was, that he believed that I, though young, could understand
and thwart his hellish plans. As my mother trembled and was silent,
fearing the priest was cursing her and her only daughter in his
heart,--for the priests tell such awful stories about the effects of a
priest's curse that the great mass of the Italian people fear it more
than the plague or any earthly misfortune.
The popish priests declare that St. Peter is the doorkeeper of the great
city of God, the heavenly Jerusalem, that he has the keys of the kingdom
of heaven, and has received strict orders not to admit any soul, under
any circumstances, who has been cursed by a holy priest, unless that
curse has been removed by the same priest in the tribunal of penance. I
was obliged to speak to his reverence, and I felt so free, so happy in
Christ as my only hope, that I opened my mind to the priest very freely,
and told him what I thought of him and his plot. "Sir priest," said I,
"I shall never return to the convent to stay long. As soon as the time
for my education ends, I shall return to liberty and domestic life. I
am not made of the proper material to make a nun of. I love the social
domestic circle; I love my father and mother, and all our domestics,
even the dogs and the cats, pigeons, and canaries, the fish-ponds,
play-grounds, gardens, rivers, and landscapes, mountain and ocean,--all
the works of God I love. I shall live out of the convent to enjoy these
things; therefore, reverend sir, if you value my peace and good-will,
never speak to me or my parents on the subject of my becoming a nun in
any convent. I shall prefer death to the loss of my personal liberty."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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